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I Am Trying To Accept The Things I Cannot Change

The situation changed from one moment to another.
I didn’t expect it.
I thought it was out of mind;
but suddently . . .
apparently . . . not.
She spoke, and brought it back.
Inside me those words struck me.
what?
Gawd, really?
I thought she forgot about that.
*deep sigh*
Figures.
I feel stupid that Just a moment ago, I was thinking…
“oh this turned out not so uncomfortable for me after all”
BUT
Of course, I spoke too soon, or rather, thought.
Some feelings coming over me.
I can’t pinpoint exactly what they are, or I don’t want to . .
But yes they are uncomfortable for sure.

I plan to be okay.
I understand there’s no way around this uncomfortable phase.
These events are new to me.
A part of me seems to be rejecting them.
I have for quite some time now.
That situation became habit.
So now, anything different is having the effect of rubbing me the wrong way.
I regret that to be the case.
But it is.
I need to shake this.
I need to let things . . . certain people go.
When I think logically, reasonably,
I know that I’m feeling weird about things that I shouldn’t.
Unfortunately, I grew accustomed to things being a way that I shouldn’t have allowed.
Its not in my best interest and healthy mindset for things to be this way.
I need to be strong and weather this.
These uncomfortable things are what gravitated me to that place of seeking some kind of comfort . . .
In the wrong places and things.
I was avoiding the uncomfortable.
Either way, we were going to come face to face.
And we have.

It’s funny (not) how even changes for the better can sometimes feel so uncomfortable, only because we got used to things being effed up for so long that it actually became the norm.
I hope this comes to pass soon.
I plan to be alright.
It’s just gonna somewhat sting for a bit.
*takes deep breath*
[quote]It’s funny (not) how even changes for the better can sometimes feel so uncomfortable, only because we got used to things being effed up for so long that it actually became the norm.[/quote]

Now that you seem to have recognized the root, hope you enjoy the next stage of living away from those norms, in comfort.

 
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