Why do things have to be so difficult!?

So my relationship is difficult at the best of times. But by and large in the last few months it has been working well. But something always happens that messes things up. Me and her have our own issues and she's pretty inflexible most of the time.
So anyway the other day we were having a discussion about her looking at hotels to book. The problem is she won't tell me if it's for us or just for her. I've told her if she goes away on her own and we are done so why won't she just clarify. It's making me anxious her putting that sort of problem on us. Worse still I'm already anxious over other things and she's just not helping.
For instance I've got my ex wife continually telling me to get our son to talk to her. But he doesn't want too and then she sends me emotional blackmail texts on the subject. So I'm getting fed up with that constantly.
Then my ex (not ex wife) serves a divorce petition asking me to pay for the divorce while calling me a wife beater which is completely in untrue. Luckily everyone I know disbelieves her including my current partner.
I feel anxious and yesterday it was affecting me physically. I just want clarity and all my ex's to go away.