This one is only for the nerds,dweebs and losers that gets bullied as well

Guys how do i make the jocks and cheerleaders at my school stop giving me wedgies,swirlys,face farts,pantsing,tossing me in dumpsters.... And please dont say like: Do some self defence classes( i tryed it bf... it didnt end well) or tell the school staff(they know that bullying happens at school and a lot of them just flat out dont care,i've a teacher laugh when he found me hanging by my underwere in the fences behind the football field,he helped me down but still...,another called me in front of the hole class when i came in late with wet hair and asked if "the guys from the football team had dunked my head in the toilets once again",the hole class got a good laugh at that one).