I Had My First Kiss
Holy crap, I had LOTS of firsts this last week.
Hungout with a friend from school for the first time since I've moved and we had a great time.
I became so much more comfortable with my voice by talking and falling asleep on the phone everyday of this week with a guy I met recently.
I HAD MY FIRST KISS, HAND HOLDING EXPERIENCE, AND DATE LAST NIGHT. So my friend came down to spend time with me because he was in the area. We walked around town, held hands while doing so, drove around, and went to the park at night. There, we appreciated the view, held hands, had a heart to heart conversation. I dunno why, but I wish I could record every heart to heart I've ever had because every one I've had means so much to me and brought me so much closer to the person I had it with.
He told me he'll always be there for me, that it's crazy how I stuck with him through everything this last year and vice versa. We were talking about how most people usually stay around for 3 months tops and leave, but we stuck through everything together and he told me that means the world to him. I cried so much cause I never knew something that seems so small to me, would mean so much to someone else and I could definitely tell he was speaking from the bottom of his heart. We truly grew closer together by having that conversation, and he even wiped my tears away when I cried. Then I had my very first kiss.
One thing that stood out to me, is how good he is at sensing when there's something wrong with me. When we were driving around, he got very minor road rage, which kinda scared me cause when others raise their voice, I instinctively want to run away, (emotional abuse sucks butt) and I started talking very softly when he got all fired up. He could tell I was scared because of my voice and instantly said he was sorry.
Another thing was when we were at the park holding hands, there's this long stretch of road by the park where cars like to race on ya know, and the cars with the loud mufflers make my heart act weird (cause the stupid sound vibrations) and for some reason I get startled [i]super[/i] easily. He could tell I was startled too cause I squeezed the crap out of his hand haha. He instantly held my hand closer to his body which instantly calmed me, brought a sense of security for me, and he could definitely tell too, cause he was like "Do you like it when I hold your hand closer to me?" and I said yes.
When we're sitting in the parking lot infront of my place where he was gonna drop me off, we talked for an hour, kissed many times, and held hands of course. When he told me he had to go home cause it was 12:30am at this time, I squeezed his hand and didn't let go even when he tried to pull away. That went on for atleast 5 minutes haha. MY CLINGYNESS IS COMING OUT. But he reassured me that he'll be back in a week, two week tops. That he'll make an effort to come visit me more and we can spend time together. Sadly we parted ways, but I'd definitely relive last night if I could.
Hungout with a friend from school for the first time since I've moved and we had a great time.
I became so much more comfortable with my voice by talking and falling asleep on the phone everyday of this week with a guy I met recently.
I HAD MY FIRST KISS, HAND HOLDING EXPERIENCE, AND DATE LAST NIGHT. So my friend came down to spend time with me because he was in the area. We walked around town, held hands while doing so, drove around, and went to the park at night. There, we appreciated the view, held hands, had a heart to heart conversation. I dunno why, but I wish I could record every heart to heart I've ever had because every one I've had means so much to me and brought me so much closer to the person I had it with.
He told me he'll always be there for me, that it's crazy how I stuck with him through everything this last year and vice versa. We were talking about how most people usually stay around for 3 months tops and leave, but we stuck through everything together and he told me that means the world to him. I cried so much cause I never knew something that seems so small to me, would mean so much to someone else and I could definitely tell he was speaking from the bottom of his heart. We truly grew closer together by having that conversation, and he even wiped my tears away when I cried. Then I had my very first kiss.
One thing that stood out to me, is how good he is at sensing when there's something wrong with me. When we were driving around, he got very minor road rage, which kinda scared me cause when others raise their voice, I instinctively want to run away, (emotional abuse sucks butt) and I started talking very softly when he got all fired up. He could tell I was scared because of my voice and instantly said he was sorry.
Another thing was when we were at the park holding hands, there's this long stretch of road by the park where cars like to race on ya know, and the cars with the loud mufflers make my heart act weird (cause the stupid sound vibrations) and for some reason I get startled [i]super[/i] easily. He could tell I was startled too cause I squeezed the crap out of his hand haha. He instantly held my hand closer to his body which instantly calmed me, brought a sense of security for me, and he could definitely tell too, cause he was like "Do you like it when I hold your hand closer to me?" and I said yes.
When we're sitting in the parking lot infront of my place where he was gonna drop me off, we talked for an hour, kissed many times, and held hands of course. When he told me he had to go home cause it was 12:30am at this time, I squeezed his hand and didn't let go even when he tried to pull away. That went on for atleast 5 minutes haha. MY CLINGYNESS IS COMING OUT. But he reassured me that he'll be back in a week, two week tops. That he'll make an effort to come visit me more and we can spend time together. Sadly we parted ways, but I'd definitely relive last night if I could.
22-25, F
