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I Appreciate Honesty

I've gotten caught up in some of my parents sh*tstorm of financial oddities. In short, my mom is accusing my dad of stealing from a public account for my brother and I, meanwhile my dad keeps saying how unstable she is and how she's been basically plotting against him for a while now (which, as I've learned is partially true is some small ways). Because the finances portion especially feels so relevant to me, I've gotten myself deep into the situation. I have screenshots of bank statements and the strange transfers of money DO come out of the account my dad is accused of stealing from. (I spent all of this night so far doing the math and double checking stuff)

Here are my dilemmas:
1. The money in the account for my brother and I wasn't made by me and my brother. It was made by my dad. We live with him, so if he spends it and moves it elsewhere to other accounts, it is still slightly in the loop of supporting my brother and I. Although our monthly credit card comes to an average of 4 thousand CAD, which seems pretty damn high for a monthly bill, some of this magically disappearing money IS spent on my brother and I. Is it valid to still accuse him of such a horrible sounding thing?

2. Do I actually want to know more? I feel like I can barely trust either of my parents because they've both lied at times, so in that sense I want to know the answer to all this insanity. Should I keep digging, solve it, side with one parent and eventually forgive the other when everything is in the light of day? Or, let my parents work it all out themselves and endure my dad ranting about how crazy my mom is till it's all over or I get sick of him and move out?

It's complicated, and I don't know what to do. I really wish both my parents could just be sane with each other sometimes.
sad2014
Hi there ,
I would say this tell your dad and your mom to resolve it on their own . Involving you it's a way to manipulate each other who has the upper hand . They are both adults and should be able to deal with it . Tell your dad that you don't want to hear him say things about your mom and tell your mom to stop telling you that he is steeling money from you and your brother .
Your parents are trying to get you to pick side don't fall for it . Let them work it out.
When mom or dad come to say something to you about it just say politely I don't want to hear it please work it out between the two of you .
Hope it helps
Asia06
Hmm...who puts the money into y'all account? If it's not you and ur bro then u can't complain much, however if ur father racks up debt w/ the account associated w/ y'all info then you should do something about. Possibly ask to see if u can remove ur info off the account. I don't know how banking works in Canada, so you'll have to ask. Talk to your bro, talk to the bank, and see what you can do. B/c you don't want ur credit score (I'm assuming that it's valuable) to be affected.
Manticore17
Dude stop. Just let your dad do what he wants but let him know that you prefer for it I be legal. Do not involve yourself further because then you can be in trouble. Walk away as soon as someone says illegal okay? It's in your best interest and that's what your parents want for you
DaveTheMedic · 22-25, M
He's not technically doing anything illegal. Just moving money out of an account that my mom and him and a spoken agreement about. If illegal stuff does come up though, I'll definitely take your advice.

If everything stays legal though, would you still say I should get out of it?
QuietlyTrickyTrash
Have you talked with your brother about this? It might be good to get his input on the situation.
DaveTheMedic · 22-25, M
I haven't really yet, good idea.
annimoon
Just observe and keep checking...if it's your dad's money anyway..just let it be
annimoon
if it's a trust for your boys and he was suppose to make deposits...for you 2...confront him
DearAble
Your a good writer for 17 years old.
DaveTheMedic · 22-25, M
Thanks :)

 
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