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I Am a Realist

I do not buy the whole new age "visualize what you want and you will get it" "positive thinking" shit.

I visualized and positively thought my ass off when I was younger and more impressionable, and ended up with nothing to show for it. 🙄

I'm a realist. It doesnt matter how much I visualize something- if it isn't within my grasp, I wont get it. I work my ass off to get where I want to be and still it doesn't happen. I'm starting to believe that either I'm cursed, or the universe is against me, lol, which, ironically, are just as new agey as "visualizing". 🤣

I just wanna know what will make my hard work pay off- without a bunch of hippie-dippie advice about "thinking positive".

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heavyone2 · 61-69, M

@silmarilion456 Fairly well said and correct! As I used to say "if ya ain't born with it in hand.. you ain't gonna have any" (excessive money) lol. I totally agree... positive thinking and a quarter won't buy a cup of coffee fir ya".… Nicely done.

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heavyone2 · 61-69, M

@silmarilion456 Oh yes we have some that are lucky enough to have the "sky open up" and money falls upon em...lol. But for the most part it just doesn't happen. College can help a lot but be prepared to be saddled with ever mounting debt at an early age. Lots of labor intense jobs now pay well but it's taxing on the body! I am one of em…..and I paid the physical price.

Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

Yes, responsibility for ones self is what needs to be taught, not wishful thinking. Action creates the changes you want, not thought as thought is the pre-cursor to action and choice.

It might be a nice exercise to do, but it's not a mode of being that's going to carry you through life in any kind of functional manner.

Wol62 · 51-55, M

Well I think it is all a fraud too. I mean you buy their tapes, CDs, DVDs, attend their lectures and they get rich! Maybe you should do what they do?

easterniowegin · 51-55, M

The mind is a powerful thing and it can work against you, if you aren't careful. But the idea that youre only talking about thinking and not doing is concerning. The thoughts set the tone for the action that you must take. But you must take action. And sometimes it is that relentless action (or even just a one-time gamble) that finally allows you to hit it big.

It seems to me that the optimist might always spent a bit of money on a weekly lotto ticket. The realist doesnt, but if the optimist actually hits a winner one time, the realist will be quick to think that they arent "lucky." But you have to play in order to win. You have to have skin in the game. How much skin is derived from your mindset and your aversion to risk, but it does correlate to your outcomes.

DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F

@easterniowegin I have never simply visualized. It was always accompanied by hard work.

easterniowegin · 51-55, M

@DearAmbellina2113 but could the work have been the wrong work? I think this is where some people run into problems. They are working, but arent actually doing anything that will ultimately help their situation even though they are working hard.
Like bailing a boat with a hole in the bottom. Do you simply bail faster?? Or do you take a moment and assess to make sure that what you're doing is most effective. Then youll be able to realize that the hole needs plugged first.
This is where goals come in handy. Realistic and measurable goals that allow you to chart and recognize progress... even negative progress. So you can change your approach when necessary. If the water level isnt going down, youre doing something wrong, but you have to take a sec to measure the water level to know for sure.

heavyone2 · 61-69, M

@DearAmbellina2113 Hey, what about Colorado's Legal Weed Business! Lol.... adopt one of the popular slogans (Ice cream company) … We smoke all we can, and sell the rest".... "rocky mountain high"...;-)

Magenta · F

Indeed. New age sugar coated mumbo jumbo. Words don't change what it was or is.

DragonFruit · 61-69, M

If you work your ass off to get what you want and it still doesn’t happen, maybe the goals are unrealistic for you. Maybe you’re working hard without focusing your efforts in the right direction.
If you have a realistic goal set, figure out what needs to be done to achieve that, and work hard toward that you should be able to attain it (it may take some time, but you should start seeing some actual results after a while).
The problem with “visualizing” is that people visualize goals that aren’t realistic for them. Working hard is admirable, but if you don’t have a good idea how to succeed by working hard, is your hard work being channeled in the right direction?
You need to think realistically....and thinking that you are “cursed” or that “the universe is against you” is no more realistic than thinking “visualize what you want and you will get it”.

DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F

@DragonFruit is a secure place to live and food on the table and a dependable car too unrealistic? Because that's all I want.

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GJOFJ3 · 61-69, M

I agree that positive thinking alone is not enough but positive thinking does affect our actions in life and responses to life, just as negative thinking does

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