I Have An Eating Disorder

So when I was about 12-13 I began to take drastic measures to lose weight and developed bad habits but I didn't think I had an eating disorder because I was able to stop without any sort of help. It was hard but I did and thats when I started self harming more which I don't do anymore.If I'm being 100% honest with myself it probably was the begining of an eating disorder. Over the years I still had those thoughts but I didn't act on them. I didn't think I ever would again. But recently I started dieting with the intention losibg weight. I started losing weight and it felt really good. But then I became obsessed with losing the weight. I lost 30 pounds in 2 months and I would say only 5 were from healthy eatig habits. I feel extremely guilty because people around me keep telling me I look good and want to know how I'm doing it and I feel terrible that I'm lying to them. I wish I never decided to diet. I want to stop but its too hard. I'm afraid I'll gain the weight back and people will think I just gave up trying to lose weight. I feel trapped.