I Have An Eating Disorder

Before I relapsed the most recent time, I thought I was in recovery, but turns out I never actually recovered. Being forced to maintain a semi-healthy body weight isn’t recovering. I still engaged in most, if not all, of the behavior I did when I was 15. My relationship issues sent me into a relapse a lot worse than what I had already been doing. I’m still having a very hard time with my eating disorder and it doesn’t seem like it’s getting better. I’ve been seeing my therapist regularly and trying to do all the bullshit he suggests but it isn’t working. He wants me to write down my daily intake so I can reflect back on it and recognize unhealthy eating habits. The problem is, the more I catalog my calorie count, the worse it makes me feel. On a good day, I’m consuming around 500 calories. This is killing me. I’m exhausted all of the time and my body hurts. I want to stop but I can’t.

Mamapolo2016 · F

I'd suggest trying another therapist. And another. If all three agreed I'd consider deciding it is not my correct-thinking that is an obstacle, but the disease trying to keep me sick. That's what diseases that originate in the mind do. If you get better, your disease dies. It will fight your best interests tooth and nail.

TimingQuasars

Dude... Someone like you doesnt need to count calories unless yoir a dedicated bodybuilder or something you can just eat normally. Not even i count calories. Just eat a proper breakfast like idk eggs and toast oatmeal.. Idk for lunch and dinner you could have rice and beans sandwitches and chips or whatever get plenty to drink. Idk what kind of food you eat but im sure it's good for you.

What you're scared about is just brainwash you dont gotta be skin and bones to be sexy smh x'D

TimingQuasars

@stillturningout wow. Howcome you want to look like that sick and thin as possible? Now that doesn't make sense to me. Don't girls want to be sexy or normal? Why is that your goal? I thought the goal was to be healthy