I Am Sad and Lonely

i am sorry to hear about your divorce - it would be unfair to say that i understand how you feel because i do not but i have been through some rough times in life as well..

the one thing i learnt from them is that people often say that - right after the darkest moment in night there is the morning and you gotta look forward to that morning - and the trouble is sometimes these dark times last pretty long - a day, a month, a year or more - sometimes you have no control over how long they could be and sometimes maybe you do - what i do promise you is that there is sunshine at the end of it though - inevitably someday the morning will come and you'll wake up knowing that you are happy at last

the second thing is that often in our difficult times we lose the greatest gift that we have and that is hope - in times when even love falls short to save us its hope that keeps us going and its important to keep it burning - but it is also equally important to push to make that hope into reality - we stay too long staring at the closed door of our lives hoping that they would open - and we fail to realize the open door right behind us which will make us equally happy if not more - sometimes it just takes the effort to just move away and look at the new opportunities in order to become better

and third final thing is something i would do everyday i woke up and that was to go and smile in front of the mirror and carry that smile as long as i could during that day - somedays i felt sick of myself for pretending to be happy and somedays i was glad i didn't show my tears - i realized people would only sympathize until a certain point and after that it would be the same dreary world - but smiling helped improve my day even if it was infinitesimally small - and slowly and steadily by pretending to smile, i got over my darkness and became happy again - the best part was i didn't have to pretend anymore

i hope you will be happy soon - cause you can be - its in you - you just need to find it :)

I have been separated since January 2016 , divorced as of Aug 2016. I understand exactly how you feel. I have to tell you those questions you are asking yourself are the same as to how all men are after their divorces. You question yourself and you spin around inside of your head. What if I did this? What if I did that? You go through periods where you just want to go back to how it all was. Everything you are going through is normal. You are not alone. Men tend to retreat inside of themselves. I know I still do at times. I would recommend you google "DivorceCare" and find a local group near you. You will find others in your same similiar situation and it will give you support. I took the DivorceCare class twice to help me. After I did that I took the single and Parenting class to help me come to grips with my new role in the divorced family fatherhood role.

Remember that you may be the most caring person in the world and give someone the shirt off your back but that does not mean that others will treat you the same. You are setting yourself up for failure if you expect others to treat you as you treat them. I wish the real world worked that way but it does not.

Some suggestions I have found that help me. When alone I turn the TV on and let it just run to create background noise and chatter. Meetup groups are great too. There are probably some single meetup groups that you could go to on Friday nights just to get you social and out of the thoughts inside of your head.

I hope this helps. I don't know you but I can relate.

Sending hugs.

thanks bro. i tried meet up but frankly, i cant get into the whole "single people meetup" at some club in the city where most of the crowd is in their twenties or early thirties and the men pay full price to get in and the ladies get in free, i cant stand the cover charges OR no cover and drinks are $15 each ! bottom line, maybe my wifes rejection has caused me to doubt myself. "who will want me ?" im an azzhole. or, "other women may see in me what she does". or worse, "what if she's right"? but thanks, i will google "Divorce Care". our kids are old and on their own but i am living alone.

I can relate to that very well and I truly wish that things will change for you. 🤗