I Feel So Defeated
“I don’t want to be an obligation. I don’t want to be left behind again. Please don’t let this happen. It happened before. I should be used to this. I’m scared to death to lose their friendship. Please don’t let this happen.” (Rambling that I wrote down months ago)
We talk less. I hoped with everything I had that that wouldn’t happen. I knew it was going to happen after they went with someone, and more after they moved in with them. It rendered me useless, like it did in the past. I feel like a small part of me died. I feel like I lost. I miss talking while we (they) fell asleep. Or even saying goodnight to them with my hand on the wall and their hand on their wall. I never felt so touched before, even before I knew the full extent to which I liked them. I miss feeling like I had a best friend.
We talk less. I hoped with everything I had that that wouldn’t happen. I knew it was going to happen after they went with someone, and more after they moved in with them. It rendered me useless, like it did in the past. I feel like a small part of me died. I feel like I lost. I miss talking while we (they) fell asleep. Or even saying goodnight to them with my hand on the wall and their hand on their wall. I never felt so touched before, even before I knew the full extent to which I liked them. I miss feeling like I had a best friend.
