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I Believe Consent Is Vital In A Relationship

[big]Consent must be
[/big]






1) [b]Awake[/b], As in, not asleep, passed our or otherwise unconscious.

2) [b]Aware,[/b] As in, not so drunk, drugged or exhausted, as to be unable to make good decisions.

3) [b]Specific[/b]. You MAY do this, you may NOT do that.

4) [b]Revocable[/b]. You might have said yes 100 times, but no can be invoked and revoked at any time with no reason given.

5) [b]Enthusiastic.[/b] Yes must be genuine, "Oh Okay, go ahead" means, you have been pressured, and can't resist further.


Anything else is Not consent, it is predatory.
AlyAngel · F
My sir and I've a rule. Consent must [b][u][c=804600]ALWAYS[/c][/u][/b] be given.

If we are under the influence consent can [b][c=800000][u]NOT[/u][/c][/b] be given.

No consent = no play. time.
@AlyAngel Yes, condition two
GrinNude · 61-69, C
Ernie, my partner of 15 years, has always said that everything in our relationship should be freely given. He says that Fidelity makes a great gift to your partner in a relationship but it must always be freely given. He says that I cannot cheat on him because if there is something that I want to do, he wants me to do it. We both have the freedom to do what we want but we don't use it. He enjoys having this freedom even though he doesn't use it. To me it really doesn't matter because I don't want anybody else and don't intend to. He says we always want to do the things we can't and don't want to do the things that we have to do. And that all should be freely given at all times. Does that make sense to you? I didn't understand it at first but it seems to be working for us. Birdie 😊
good to remember...though many younger men have trouble with this stuff...
@Elevatorpitches it is the young men that REALLY need to read this. 20 years of celebrating "getting over" on women, have infecgted sooo many
@BanPlastic so so MANY males seem to think this is legit. it is not.
un-consensual sex is rape.
@BanPlastic help him understand that is no different than rohypnol
GrinNude · 61-69, C
Absolutely, I agree. I think this problem at least partially arises from the fact that we think and act like we can take ownership of people. You are mine so you have to do this. Or you are mine so you can't do that.

I believe we are spiritual beings having a human experience and you can't own spirit. And spirits function best when they are happy joyous and free.
@GrinNude On this we agree
Crazychick · 36-40, F
Of course. It goes without saying.
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
@Violetta Yes that’s condition for revocable and specific
Conditions three and four I try so hard to help fellow men boys to understand this I tell them they need to come to know women as people. Have women as friends women that they are not going to try to sexualize
The great break came between men and women when the conquerors cross Europe exterminating natural people. With a great travesty that we suffer from to this very day
Bumbles · 51-55, M
With married couples in good relationships there can be some flexibility.
@Sorceress thanks for your kindness
Elegy · 46-50
Can you edit your typo, it's driving me nuts.
NickiHijab · F
@SatyrService Your post was still on point👏🏽
Elegy · 46-50
@SatyrService Teeny keyboards for the lose.
@Elegy @SatyrService
I welcome the assist!
please shine that light on some of these other posters.
I too, can get hung up on a bad spelling or misuse of a word.
@JammieDodgerHeart
I am so glad to find you reading this, and that very long otherone, about power.
I try to be clear and infomative
JammieDodgerHeart · 26-30, F
@SatyrService very informative, you have good insights :)
Dshhh · M
But what if she WANTS to be passed out and then fucked?

or want to shout NO NO NO NO!
@LeopoldBloom I HATE the amatuerization of the S/M life style
that book is SHite!

more?

https://similarworlds.com/5997655-I-Lets-Discuss-Dominance-and-Submission/1287662-So-you-think-you-wan-to-try-some-Bondage-It-looked
@SatyrService Totally in agreement. Dan Savage talks about "varsity-level" BDSM which is a good way to look at it. Nobody would jump into skiing or SCUBA diving or any other potentially dangerous sport without basic instruction and working their way up from easy to difficult stages, but with BDSM everyone thinks they know everything just because they're interested.
@LeopoldBloom a DUnning Kreuger effect I think
Quizzical · 46-50, M
Okay... How do you feel about consent being withdrawn AFTER the act has been completed? Say, days, weeks, or even months later...

AND

What if both parties are too drunk to make good decisions?
@Quizzical consent is about "now" not later. if you consent, and regret it later? that's just [b]remorse.[/b]

even if you are [i]tricked[/i] into consenting, you still gave consent.
false premises? well, that would be up to you how you wanted to make it right





if both parties are too drunk to make good decisions?

[i]then maybe they need to grow up about how to drink.[/i]
too bad that is how too many kids get made.
Quizzical · 46-50, M
@SatyrService I only ask because there are moves in some countries to allow consent to be rescinded at a later date.

And I asked about drinking because of a uni anti-rape poster I saw that had both students drinking heavily, yet the blurb on it pretty much stated that in that state the guy could make decisions, but the girl couldn't... Which I thought was kind of unfair to both sexes really.
@Quizzical men and women are equal in this matter.
lets take it out of sex, for clarity

someone sells you a car. after wards you fount out he did not really own it.

you gave CONSENT to buy the car,, that does NOT MEAN you don't have [b]recourse to respond to the FRAUD[/b]

all fraud works this way, the get you to consent,
to a false deal.
it was bad judgement, but you get to seek restitution.

and yeah, that poster was bunk.
Budwick · 70-79, M
Hmmm, maybe that time spent in the slammer had some benefit after all!
@Budwick you were in jail? sorry dude, i hope you got thru okay. US jails are a crime, the very definition of Cruel punishment.
I hope your time was limited.
Amylynne · 26-30, F
ENTHUSIASM! the ONLY way to go
AlmostAnAngel · 100+, F

 
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