I Keep Too Many Things to Myself

I just took my internship and it just made my want to hate myself even more.

For the last few years, all I wanted is to finish college and start new by having a job. I hated college so much that I just want to end everything. But as I took my internship, I felt like there won't be any difference after college.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just really boring that no one wants to talk to me. Everyone's ignoring me as if I was not there.

Sometimes I think about ending everything right now. Existing doesn't make any sense if I'll just feel like this forever.

I don't know. I'm just really hopeless right now.

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nojudging · 61-69, M

Littlelamp, you got through college, you got an internship. You have something to offer. Keep shining! ☺

SW-User

Interns are temporary. Most people realize this and unless you directly work with someone, many will choose not to talk with you because your time is short by design. So it's not you, it's the situation.

LittleLamp · 26-30, F

@SW-User yeah. I really hope that's the case :(
I just felt ignored when a new employee came and she was welcomed nicely. Unlike me, I really felt ignored.

SW-User

@LittleLamp Learn what you can and reach out to others there - make connections and get yourself noticed, which will help you for future employer s. Also, if you can make a small name for yourself, they could turn your internship into a job offer when you graduate! But it all comes from you, don't expect it to come to you.

DanielChristensen · 46-50, M

Hang in there. The only constant is change. I suffered very badly with depression for about 15 years, but I made it through. You can do it

WoodyAq · M

Are you in the Trump administration?

LittleLamp · 26-30, F

@WoodyAq huh? i'm not from US.

WoodyAq · M

@LittleLamp lame attempt at satire. Where are you from?

Seriously, though, figuring out how to best use employees is a tough task. Most managers are not up to it with regular employees, and temporary interns are beyond all but the most capable. But the most capable are seldom assigned to interns. They are more valuable elsewhere.The sooner you realize this and learn how to deal with it, the happier and more successful you will be.

MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

You won't feel like this forever, little lamp. I was close to killing myself as I had severe suicidal thoughts for 3 years, I couldn't go around for 5 minutes without thinking "Kill myself" and even on better days it was like this, literally. However here I am, I've overcome it and now I'm loving life (Even if it's still difficult).

LittleLamp · 26-30, F

@MartinTheFirst how are you able to overcome it?

MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

@LittleLamp By the guidance of Jehovah the only God's words. All of us have a spiritual need that we need to fulfill, all of us needs hope in our life, and all of us needs to feel loved. God gives us all of this, and gave me all of it.

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