I Am An Atheist

once, when i was high on magic mushrooms, i abducted an annoying street preacher from town, hog-tied him and took him to my underground lair and strapped him to a wall in front of an x-ray machine i built using old washing machine parts and then i bombarded him with hard x-rays until the atoms in his body gave up their electrons and he melted. then i ran away giggling.