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I Like Being Alone, But Hate Being Lonely

I don't have a problem being alone. I like my alone time. The problem I have is not having someone to share things with. I'm a Virgo. Part of the Virgo persona is the Hermit. We are very adapt and suited to be by ourselves. I always found it interesting that when I was married or had family or roommates, a piece of me, longed for my privacy. Yet when I was alone again, in a matter of weeks, I missed the company.
Not being a social person, age has somewhat closed the flaps, on the box I've created. I've been married and divorced, widowed twice. I do have family but some are many miles away and the others have their own lives and problems to deal with. I do see the close ones often, though. Friends, though, are fewer and fewer. The longtime friends have left this plane, and since I retired, the "work friends", those people you talked and interacted with everyday, become acquaintances you knew. Growing up in the L A area and now in Las Vegas, it's been easy to fall into do what we usually do out west, you live next door to people for 20 years and probably don't know or remember their names.
I walk in the morning, to get my exercise. I'll talk on the phone to family, across the county. The rest of my time is spent caring for my cats, watching programs on TV, I'm not interested in, and spending time online. A part time job would be nice but age and distances seem to be a problem. While I have no problem holding a conversation on almost any subject, starting a conversation with a stranger or seeing someone and saying, "Hi, what's going on" or "what do you think about...", is not natural for me. And the thought of having another roommate, even someone I knew well, is nothing I'm looking forward to. I do like my privacy.
I guess the ideal solution would be a new neighbor. Someone to talk and enjoy their company but still have my privacy. Well, stranger things have happened. But I'll probably not be holding my breath.
ammoniascrubbertime · 46-50, F
Tennesseans are not human.


 
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