I Am Agender
So I got an email saying "read this entry you wrote two years ago!!1!" on a journal site that I forgot I signed up to. I would've been, what, 13 at the time? There were like 4 entries and one of them was about how I was horribly insecure, and there was a section in there that I thought was amusing to read back.
I go to an all-girls school, and there was a section in that entry where I talked about how I don't fit in, how I'm not like any of my classmates and how I felt they all got along without me and I was the odd one out. That they all seem comfortable and feminine in the different ways femininity appears, while I am "apathetic" and only feel comfortable presenting myself in some ambiguous way.
Dear 13-year-old me,
It's called being agender. Enjoy.
It was probably around that time I would have learned about what it meant to be agender, too. I found that I could relate to a non-binary friend of mine, who had written about their experience on the old EP. I looked it up and went back and forth on what I thought but I did finally get to the conclusion that this is what I identify as.
And it felt great to have a name to how I've felt for a long time. Being confused and insecure sucked. I've learned a lot and made major improvements, and I'm a lot happier learning even more about myself and growing as a person.
I go to an all-girls school, and there was a section in that entry where I talked about how I don't fit in, how I'm not like any of my classmates and how I felt they all got along without me and I was the odd one out. That they all seem comfortable and feminine in the different ways femininity appears, while I am "apathetic" and only feel comfortable presenting myself in some ambiguous way.
Dear 13-year-old me,
It's called being agender. Enjoy.
It was probably around that time I would have learned about what it meant to be agender, too. I found that I could relate to a non-binary friend of mine, who had written about their experience on the old EP. I looked it up and went back and forth on what I thought but I did finally get to the conclusion that this is what I identify as.
And it felt great to have a name to how I've felt for a long time. Being confused and insecure sucked. I've learned a lot and made major improvements, and I'm a lot happier learning even more about myself and growing as a person.
