How to tell this guy it's not working? [I Need Dating Advice]

Hi. So I met this guy a few weeks ago on a dating site. We were talking a bit like every day, exchanged numbers and have been texting every day all week as well as having like 3 hour long conversations.

He seems like a really cool person. But I don't get the vibe -- at least when talking on the phone..over text it's pretty decent -- that he's into the conversation enough overall. He doesn't seem very responsive and kind of takes a back seat. If I tell him something about me, he only follows it up with "Yeah this similar thing happened to me once" and doesn't ask me any questions about myself at all, really.

So I've already decided I can't do this and just wanna be friends if he does. But I've never been good at knowing how and when to say it. Should I do it today knowing I feel this way now? Should I call him to say it? Is there a good way to phrase it so it doesn't sound like a break up when we're not even dating? I'm just trying to do it in the best way I can. Thank you in advance if you try to help.

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Jdanielb Best Comment

Combat moves.. go electronically dark, then change your phone number and all social media accts he had communication with you on; then emerge " REBORN".

lol.. I jest.. it depends on the guy and what he thinks it is, and then it also depends on his characteristics..

Dont wait though to tell him.. just do it.. some guys do t attatch at all, some attatch all the way immediately.

Be firm in delivery and not timid.. if your not convinced.. you won't convince any one else either...

.. or if your really concerned about his feelings.. MAKE YIURSELF OBNOXIOUS..

Disagree with him on everything he says, ask for money, notice what he likes and do the opposite..

Good luck

Toadily · F

@Jdanielb Thanks, I do think telling him is probably best. If you have an opinion on this, is it something I should call him about? We've been on the phone 3 times but text the rest of the time, and I just don't wanna make too big a deal if that'd make him feel worse

Jdanielb

@Toadily it's what are you prepared to handle.. .

If your worried about a well up of his emotions? Decide if your ready to handle it. If you are then take that bull by the horns and get in the phone call.. if not.. then text..

The most forward and direct route is always the quickest way.

The eagle is an interesting bird. If it has damaged feathers, it takes a rest and uses its talons to claw them off, making room for new.

If it's not working for you, claw it off asap, and free up your energy, for the new that will work for you.

People amaze me at how much they are willing to cripple themselves for others. Human compassion and fear get their circuits crossed alto. You are the only you, and you can only be indebted to whom you choose to indebt yourself..

Concern for others is a great quality.. but dont waste yourself catering to others.

Jesus " love your neighbor AS YOURSELF"

So .. love you first.. if you dont no one will but God

theblueman77 · M

I think you should just be honest with him, if your more comfortable texting instead of doing it on the phone that's ok too. Just keep it simple and say i like you but just want to be friends as i don't feel anything more, you don't have to justify anything.

Toadily · F

@theblueman77 thank you 😊

theblueman77 · M

@Toadily your welcome 👍🏻😀

GLITTER · 36-40, F

Just back off a little bit. I don’t think you need to make a fuss. It’ll just be a bit weird and awkward

Toadily · F

@GLITTER I could do that, and thanks. It just somehow feels a bit bad going from talking so much to saying less and less when we've been speaking so regularly

And he did tell me that he gets anxious about stuff he might have done wrong if he senses people distancing themselves. He told me I could tell him if I wasn't feeling it anymore, just not sure how.

Reflection2 · 41-45, M

Don't be shallow. Some slwo going people can be surprising package but they need time. It's just been a week, which is tarange to come to a conclusion to any one.

If it doesn't make sense. Just tell him, u not seeing him as interest. Simple

Toadily · F

@Reflection2 I see where you're coming from and can agree that sometimes people need more time. But I actually asked him if he's just so quiet in general, and he said that's how he normally is. Regardless I appreciate it.

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