This post may contain Mildly Adult content.
Mildly Adult
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

I Got Really Pissed Off

I just had a huge blow up with my mother. I do have a hostory of mental health issues, and that does play in here. I have been dealing with some BS related to my futurue for about a year now. The past few days I admit, I let it get to me. My poor friends know this. After talking to some of them I called my mom, wanting to share what I'm learning about plan B for my life. We


We start a conversation, then I get upset and am crying, trying to focus on my breathing.

She continues to play devil's advocate.

I let her know that is not helpful for me right now.

She claims I am being defensive and she is helping me see reality (essentially)

Something upsets me again, and I ask her to please, just listen. Just let me say whatever I am feeling.

Her comment is that is not really helpful to me, because I can't let myself get to this point all the time.

And how it's not fair to her for me to tell her she needs to stop talking. . (I ask politely)

And if she can't talk, than neither should I be able to. We did not finish the conversation. She had things to talk with me about. But she realized it was not the time.
(Yes, my mental illnesses came up.... yes I am being treated...)
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
Pop0159 · 61-69, M
Stand your ground and focus on your points and needs ... ... Your mothers comments only have such power over you is because you allow her to .... You need to learn to let her comments roll off and not upset you or divert you from what you want to say .. ..
Eeyore122 · 36-40, F
You are very right. It's funny- when I'm teaching or working with kids, I let stuff roll, though it can be hard. With my mom...it's not so easy.
Pop0159 · 61-69, M
@Eeyore122: it is likely a combination of the fact that her opinion means so much to you and that she is so often right that makes it so didficult ... even whe she is clearly not right ... ...
Eeyore122 · 36-40, F
I can count on my hands the number of times she'd admitted to making a mistake or being wrong.
Pop0159 · 61-69, M
Aw yes ... but how many times can you clunt that you have admitted she was right .. .. .. rather you do so out loud or just within yourself .. .. it adds a level of importance to her point of view .. ..

There for a bit my youngest daughter was really upset every time I spanked her not because her bottom hurt but because she disappointed me .. .. when we talked and I explained we all make mistakes and I expect her to make some bad choices .. .. as long as she owened up to her actions, accepted the consequences, and learned not to donthe same going forward .. .. she did not need to be perfect for me to love and care for her ... ...

Perhaps yiu are taking your mothers coments to seriously .. .. ..
Eeyore122 · 36-40, F
My mother has been right far more often than I'd like to admit.

I think I am much like your youngest was. Our spankings were simply three hand swats over clothes, so no actual pain. I just hate disappointing people, or not meeting my own expectations for myself.

I am not asking for pitty, but as someone with a physical disability (among others), I've known I have to work harder, to adapt, etc to get where I want to be in life. Recently I found out bullying occurs to adults as well. I;m always feeling the need to prove myself. Always have.
Pop0159 · 61-69, M
@Eeyore122: in the end the goal is for you to control your own destiny and provide for yourself .. .. No road in life is easy and your challenges are yours and yours alone to face and concur .. .. .. don't be afraid to ask for and accept help that moves you forward towards that goal .. ..

Bullying only happens because you fear the immediate threat of pain or humiliation more then the long term dammage it may do .. .. if you don't let the bully change your mood, actions, or goals he or she will quickly loose all power .. ..
Eeyore122 · 36-40, F
I haven't stopped the goal... experienced a legal form of discrimination, backed by someone I trusted to look out for me. I raised some polite heck and am promised changes.
Pop0159 · 61-69, M
@Eeyore122: well stay strong, keep moving forward, and before you know it you will be where you want to be .. ..