I Am Fighting Suicidle Thoughts

I think this is one of the most difficult things about mental health issues. Because we're either ashamed of it, don't want to admit it, or don't want to deal with it, we pretend to other people that it doesn't exist. I remember telling my mother the real reason I left university and she cried, partly for my sake, but partly because she felt she should have worked out that her own child was suffering.

You have said it openly here, and that's not a bad thing at all. I suspect there are a lot of people here who either feel the same as you, or have felt that way. You are not alone.

You don't deserve it, because u did nothing wrong. You were just in a bad place and that is not your fault. I wish everyone got love and warmth, especially as children, but unfortunatelly not many get the perfect parents/childhood. So instead on lingering on the past, you could focus on becoming the perfect parent yourself. And make somebody else's childhood perfect, or even adopt and save somebody else from their hell.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Know that you're not alone. One day you're going to look back at this moment and be really proud for not giving up. If you feel the worst at night try not to stay up or do something that keep you preoccupied until you sleep like reading. .stay strong

Do what you can to not give the demons any power. Their accusations are vain attempts to lift themselves up. Don’t let them feed off of you. You are an adult now.
You can form healthy personal boundaries.

It will get better. I've been there.

You can beat it ✊

😔🤗💕