I Am Depressed
I have been replaced again and I am seriously trying not to cry over here. It's bad enough that my childhood best friend doesn't want me anymore back in Michigan when I went to pride but now a longtime friend here doesn't want me anymore and I've been replaced. I swear nobody wants me anymore. I began to notice when I saw him post more and most about hanging out with this other guy. Several times a week they are together and they just have to rub it in all our faces. I went out with him a week or so ago and it never got a mention while everytime he goes out with him there is always a mention. I don't even get called his BFF anymore. I got so upset and fed up I deactivated my facebook. I used to have instagram but I deleted that out of anger back during pride because of the same thing that is happening again. I can't look at any of that stuff anymore because it makes me feel like crap. It makes me feel worthless and like I don't even matter. He is the reason I actually had cancelled my one party I wrote about. He invited his new bff and some other people and didn't even ask me if it was okay. He was acting like it was his party so I cancelled it because I don't want to see their faces and I was angry.
I guess we are supposed to hang out tomorrow but I haven't really heard anything more about it. Guess what I think I feel a cold coming on because I no longer want to go. It's out of pity anyway. For example today they went to the mall and I wasn't even invited. He knew it was my day off too. Not like I would have gone anyway because I would have punched someone in the face but it would have been nice to have been thought of. I am so tired of getting treated like crap and being thrown away like trash. I feel like that toy on christmas some kid is excited to get and then another present is placed in front of them and as soon as the wrapping paper comes off I'm thrown aside in favor of the shiny new toy. I didn't even do anything to deserve this.
I was there for him for so many things and this guy wasn't. Who was the first person he came to when he was coming out? ME. Who helped him? ME. Not that dork. When he was having financial problems who fronted him cash? ME ME ME ME ME. Not that broke ass drunkard. Who gave him solid career advice and helped him grow his confidence? ME not that crass bossy pants buttmunch.
I'm not even going to bother anymore. No point in letting him drag me along on a lengthy string I'm just going to take scissors to it and cut the cord. Don't have to worry about me anymore because I'm going to do you a favor and disappear right out of your life. You two can have each other because I'm tired of being constantly reminded that I'm not good enough anymore and that I no longer fit into your world.
I guess we are supposed to hang out tomorrow but I haven't really heard anything more about it. Guess what I think I feel a cold coming on because I no longer want to go. It's out of pity anyway. For example today they went to the mall and I wasn't even invited. He knew it was my day off too. Not like I would have gone anyway because I would have punched someone in the face but it would have been nice to have been thought of. I am so tired of getting treated like crap and being thrown away like trash. I feel like that toy on christmas some kid is excited to get and then another present is placed in front of them and as soon as the wrapping paper comes off I'm thrown aside in favor of the shiny new toy. I didn't even do anything to deserve this.
I was there for him for so many things and this guy wasn't. Who was the first person he came to when he was coming out? ME. Who helped him? ME. Not that dork. When he was having financial problems who fronted him cash? ME ME ME ME ME. Not that broke ass drunkard. Who gave him solid career advice and helped him grow his confidence? ME not that crass bossy pants buttmunch.
I'm not even going to bother anymore. No point in letting him drag me along on a lengthy string I'm just going to take scissors to it and cut the cord. Don't have to worry about me anymore because I'm going to do you a favor and disappear right out of your life. You two can have each other because I'm tired of being constantly reminded that I'm not good enough anymore and that I no longer fit into your world.