I Find Psychology Interesting

After some strange experiences [i](plural, so this is not a personal attack on annyone)[/i] this week on SW, I decided to add another story and change my "about me" page. People that feel attacked by what I have to write, should at least read it out to the finish. If people see anny problems with this, please let me know in the comment section. As this post will show, I appreciate the critical voice deeply as long as it's founded in facts and is rational.

First of all, I want to make clear that I'm not a psychologist. Neither did I study psychology. I'm not branding annyone of being sick. I write these ideas as much for myself, as the reader that is willing to finish reading it. I write it in good faith, and as a warning for those that are unaware of the thing that I consider problematic.

What I want to talk about is not "narcissism", but the tendency of people to be "narcissistic". I think this tendency resides in all of us. Because somewhere deep within ourselves, we have the longing to be loved for the person that we are. So I consider myself guilty of what I'm going to write, but I can only become aware of this if someone else can point it out for me. It's really hard for an individual to spot their short commings, that's (what I believe) true friends are for.

Narscissus was a Greek Mythological figure, and as manny myths are told over and over again, manny diffrent narratives pop up. I've choicen [i](arbitrary)[/i] to choose this narrative to make my point:

[i]"Narscissus, one day found a pond and saw his reflection in the water. He fell so in love with himself, that he stayed at the pond day and night, looking at himself. People came to get him away, but he just stayed there unwilling to listen. At some point he wanted to touch himself, act on his desires of love and admiration... and he drowned."[/i]


Now... what does this have to do with fora or social media.

A lot of people on the internet seem to like their own thoughts. They write something, and expect everyone to like it. They expect praise and hearts, for their thoughts. Because these thoughts and ideas are theirs and they seem to define their identity [i](the person they consider themselves to be)[/i].

They don't want you to be you or have your own thoughts, what they want [i](and actively look for)[/i] is people to mirror their own believes [i](to see themselves reflected in your praises of their comment)[/i], so they can fall in love with these people and call them their friends. The consequence is that you push everyone else away, that everyone that doesnt reflect your own ideas becomes an "enemy". A person that actively wants to ruin your mood and disrupt your sense of reality. The see criticism of their ideas and posts as a personal attack. An attack on their verry being, an attack on their identity. Criticism of an idea becomes criticism of a personal nature. As if all the ideas the person has, are automatically okay. People that act like this get really worked up and emotional really quickly, they don't discuss what was said but they attack the person that said it. Because the person that breaks their illusion, this self reflection in the pond, is there to hurt their feelings. These people are unable of real self-reflection, they are unable of self-criticism and they will always see people that have anny criticism as something they need to get rid off. They live in the constant halo and bliss of their own self, blinded by love and passion. It's emotional NOT rational.

Now... everyone [i](including myself)[/i] has to watch out, because as I said, sometimes you [i](and me as well)[/i] also fall in this trap. We too choose to surround ourselves with people that we like and share identities with. It's a fairly human thing and it's something really strong. It's a group mentality and it's in essence not a bad thing, it's part of being human. But passion, love and hatred that runs in a group can become a really destructive force in society. An entire mob, blinded by their own passion that direct their feelings upon those that break the illusions they might have, has led to serious cosequences in the past.

I believe [i](and that's my idea)[/i] that real friends, are people that can talk to eachother in a rational/mature way, say things about eachoters thoughts, but always end up together at the table breaking bread. Because true friends now that they value eachother as a person, as a human being, and that they value the honesty of the other person because they choose to reason with them in a friendly way. True friends can disagree deeply, but it doesnt diminish their respect for eachother as humang beings. Therefore, I would advice people to not only surround yourself with people that only agree with you, or you'll be living a lie before you know it. I consider "opposition" [i](as in: those that disagree on a rational level, not an emotional one) [/i]important. It keeps you real as a person, and it stops you from loosing yourself in self-admiration.

For those that read this far... I'll give anny reader this advice, which can be found on one of our war monuments. [b]It remembers a time when only one opinion counted, and all other thoughts and criticisms where [u]blocked[/u][/b] [i](and send to camps or shot in front of a wall)[/i]. [b]A time were being a friend meant that you had to reflect the ideas of the "general will". A time that didn't allow pluralism in annyway, and where respect only excisted for the once that shared the same opinion. A time where lies became truths, and the general paranoia for "the other" turned into violence.[/b] A time that caused a trauma that generations later we are still struggling with. [b][u]THINK!!! Be critical[/u], not only for others [u]but specially for yourself![/u] But [u]never do it without respect.[/u] Because [u]the person you are talking too is still a human being, and therefore subjective to the same flaws you are subjective too.[/u][/b] Don't loose yourself in self-admiration, don't ban all the people that care about you from your life, understand that your own ideas might be wrong and try to figure out if they are. If you don't, you might end up drowning in a pond of your own making.

[b]Watch your thoughts, they become words;
Watch your words, they become actions;
Watch your actions, they become habits;
Watch your habits, they become character;
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.[/b]



Feel free to criticise or respond... just do it in a rational way. I admire your courage to speak up, so I can learn to better myself. Thank you for reading.