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It's So Simple...

When you realize you are good enough to be in someone鈥檚 life for years during his crappy marriage but not even worth the time of day after his divorce, it breaks absolutely every little piece of your heart - even pieces of your heart you didn't realize existed.

Listening to a live stream on Reddit tonight. This kid's music always gets to me - pulls at my heartstrings. Now that I'm living in an emotional wasteland, it is difficult to listen to without tears running down my face. His music is the only thing that I allow myself that is even the least bit passionate, romantic or emotional. It's beautiful - bittersweet and it tears at my heart yet somehow it is oddly comforting. I sit quietly, eyes closed and let the music just wash over me, let it do its worst. Seems it exhausts me so I don't listen to it more than a couple times a months. Brings out the grieving...the tears...the old memories that I wish I could forget...the surfacing of feelings for someone who was never anything more than an illusion...

I listen, cry and wonder how I can sit here and still be heartbroken over someone who didn't care for or respect me at all. Especially when I know he's not giving me a second thought...but was content to use me while it was convenient and toss me away the very minute his situation changed.

People say I should 'get over it'. Wow. Why didn't I think of that? I didn't realize how very simple it was.... *sigh*
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This is why , unhealthy as it, i hold onto my anger.
Its justified.

I'm worthy, and I won't feel sorry for myself because of one little boy who can't grow up and become a decent man.

I genuinely love most of who I am.

But I understand those times when you need to let go the effort of holding on - and let it flood out, and allow yourself drown , if for only a moment .

Perseverance dear gurl馃挏, you have gotten this far .馃
[@9537,LadyBronte] aye.
I just wish they didn't make replicas that keep surfacing.

I wish you only had to cry something out once, and be done with it.
LadyBronte56-60, F
[@912138,OogieBoogie] Me too. And after that good cry, you could just forget the bastard.
馃槀[@9537,LadyBronte] FuckingAMEN sistah 馃槃馃憤
LucyFuhr51-55, F
I've had some pretty effed up relationships in my time so I [b]over[/b]stand what you're feeling right now.

I'm not going to tell you to 'get over it' but we both know you won't find your happy ending where you lost it.

I urge you to do [b][i]whatever[/i][/b] you need to do to heal your heart. The shitty things you've dealt with in the past were bad enough the first time 'round. You don't want them messing with your future possibilities too.

I wish you good things 馃
LadyBronte56-60, F
[@8345,LucyFuhr] And that is exactly why I am getting those thoughts that are eating at me out of my head. They have to go somewhere and here is the only place I have to drop them.
LucyFuhr51-55, F
[@9537,LadyBronte] I can't think of a better place to do it Luv.
Maybe find someone to talk it out with too.

Again, do [b][i]whatever[/i][/b] it takes to find your peace again.
LadyBronte56-60, F
[@8345,LucyFuhr] Thanks. I appreciate it.
It's odd, isn't it, when we get sick or break a bone, people don't demand we just get over it, because they understand that we need time to heal. It sure would be nice if people would consider this when someone is going through a painful emotional situation. A lot of times the healing time required after a heart is broken is considerably longer than any bone. You take all the time you need to grieve and to heal. Wishing you strength and sending you hugs.
LadyBronte56-60, F
[@1220582,BlueDream] Thank you. Appreciated.

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