Monthly crush update
Today marks four months since I bid farewell to the office. So, this last month was interesting. It was his birthday. I met him for lunch once, and handed over his birthday gift. We also spoke on the phone once. On his birthday, ofcourse.
On Nov 15, I told him I liked him over text. He seemed very surprised by that piece of information and he said he never imagined I would like him. He seemed open to take things forward, but I wasn't ready and we mutually agreed to wait it out and see where it goes.
I try to focus on some of his characteristics which I don't like. I try to crush the feelings I have for him. But no matter how hard I try, they haven't died. Yet.
Also, in the earlier days, I hoped he would change those things I didn't like about him. Now I realize that wanting him to change something is a toxic expectation.Just let him be who he is.
So now I try to not paint an image of him that I want. I try to see him in his reality. I still like him.
When we met this month for lunch he revealed a few things, which I usually would have found unacceptable in my partner. I try to remember that everytime his thought crops up. But after the first few days I ain't so aghast.
I have brought down the texting a lot.
No, he does not text me first.
I know he is absolutely bogged down with work. I will believe him because I too have worked in that company and I know how insane the work culture is over there.
So yes, for now, we're "just friends."
He has dreams of studying abroad. Don't know whether that will be fulfilled. Anyhow, he expects to leave the company in August, and... that would mean him saying goodbye to my city.
What happens after that? Who knows?
I don't even know what the update on Jan 11 will be.
Whatever it is, I'll keep posting it here every month.
On Nov 15, I told him I liked him over text. He seemed very surprised by that piece of information and he said he never imagined I would like him. He seemed open to take things forward, but I wasn't ready and we mutually agreed to wait it out and see where it goes.
I try to focus on some of his characteristics which I don't like. I try to crush the feelings I have for him. But no matter how hard I try, they haven't died. Yet.
Also, in the earlier days, I hoped he would change those things I didn't like about him. Now I realize that wanting him to change something is a toxic expectation.Just let him be who he is.
So now I try to not paint an image of him that I want. I try to see him in his reality. I still like him.
When we met this month for lunch he revealed a few things, which I usually would have found unacceptable in my partner. I try to remember that everytime his thought crops up. But after the first few days I ain't so aghast.
I have brought down the texting a lot.
No, he does not text me first.
I know he is absolutely bogged down with work. I will believe him because I too have worked in that company and I know how insane the work culture is over there.
So yes, for now, we're "just friends."
He has dreams of studying abroad. Don't know whether that will be fulfilled. Anyhow, he expects to leave the company in August, and... that would mean him saying goodbye to my city.
What happens after that? Who knows?
I don't even know what the update on Jan 11 will be.
Whatever it is, I'll keep posting it here every month.