I Am Getting a Divorce

9 months now since the separation. 2 months since Divorce Decree.

I thought it would get easier, but it just seems to be getting harder. My ex has all my kids a new bf and half of my income.

I feel like my life is a wreck, and I feel like I am tied like a ball and chain to a boat anchor.

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Ynotisay · M

Hang in dude. Be there for your kids. They're what matters.

You'll make more money to compensate for what she's stealing, I mean, what she was awarded, and now you have the time and ability to live life for yourself. Just hope she marries this dude or even moves in with him. You can get your alimony reduced. When the kids are 18 you're off the hook.

It'll get better. No doubt. Do your thing and be happy.

And not to slam you but as a note for any young guy who is thinking about getting married.

If you don't sign a pre-nup you're out of your mind.

In the eyes of the law marriage is a BUSINESS CONTRACT. Nothing more than that. And you wouldn't enter in to a business contract without having some kind of protection if things don't work out.

Good luck bro. You got this.

ShadowSteel · M

I paid her a lump sum in alimony to be done. I didn't want the emotional feelings associated with giving her money while she was living with some other guy. I figured 30K was a better deal than having to be angry.

Ynotisay · M

@AmazingPoet: Oh dude. That's awesome. I'm sure you have all that in writing. SMART. It's now in your rear view mirror.

I imagine it's not an easy situation with the kids but in terms of your own self? You win. No doubt.

If you separated that happened because something wasn't working. And once relationships start rolling downhill it's pretty hard to stop them. It happens. And it sucks. But the reality is that life is a solo. Even when you're in a relationship.

And good call man. No anger. No resentment. No jealousy. That's pointless. An energy suck. You've got a fresh start. Go do your thing. And like they say, the best revenge is living well.

MaryQueenOfScots · 41-45, F

Yes, marriage is basically a business contract, that is why you need a lawyer and go to to a judge to break the contract when the marriage ends. Because it is a business contract. Why do you think every mother tells their daughters "why buy the cow if the milk is free?" Why do you think every woman wants to marry that doctor? Its not for the short term, its for the long term because the longer one is married, the more money she will get when its over. This is how the women's side thinks.

MaryQueenOfScots · 41-45, F

I can understand, even though I have never had kids. In time things will get better and it sounds like your situation is not fair. Your kids will grow up and after that you won't have to pay support anymore. Well I will be honest with you because if one isn't honest one can't better themselves, and it may sound harsh, but sometimes its kind to tell it like it is. You are tied down right now with a ball and chain. Maybe this is a time for you to find happiness in small things in life or if you have a talent in a hobby you can find a way to earn extra income. Try a 800 number for men to earn extra money, one of the sex numbers. You can work when you want.

Your not the only one or the first one to be in this situation. I worked with this guy once and he was like you, almost his entire check went for child support. His wife lived in a nice house and remarried and her husband made a lot of money and she started working and made a lot of money too. He wasn't able to get his support lowered and he was almost living in his car and his x-wife was eating steak and had it all. Well I didn't want to depress you, but like I said, I would rather tell you the truth like it is.

Amazonlady · 46-50, F

Speaking from experience, it does get better with time. It just doesnt seem like it right now

SStarfish ·

:/ sorry for your losses :/ that sucks

booboo · M

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