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I Accept You For Who You Are

So

Have a bestie
We’ve known each other for years.
We have been through stuff together.
Their divorce
Mine
We promised to be there for one another.
Like brother and sister.
We have issues.
We promised that when we felt scared or anxious that we would listen to the other and be there.
And provide unconditional positive regard.
I feel like Iv broken my promise one too many times.
So has he.
He is happy with someone I am happy with someone.
I don’t want anyone to think anything negative about him I feel protective about him.
I was upset and I vented to him.
He had never seen me this scared or upset.
He just changed his stance and went from uncertain.
To certain in what he was about to say.
He said that remeber your family loves you.
I love you.
And no matter what life goes on. And I have to accept that.
I am thankful for this friendship.
I then gave into the fear and decided to run like a coward from the man I love.
I knew straight away it was wrong.
Wrong because he is so right. He is like a specific piece of machinery made by the universe bespoke and made just for me.
He is strong when I’m weak.
He is patient when I hate myself
He is loving when I’m dead inside
He knows in advance what things will be affecting my mental health and plans ahead.
I don’t know what Iv done to deserve such love and kindness.

 
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