I Hate Life

I'm asleep but my mind is awake, full of sad thoughts and overwhelming feelings. I am not capable of receiving love; I am a burden and I have no direction in life. Perhaps having goals with your lover is delusional - who knows what will happen if one of us fall out of love and ultimately, find someone 'better'? What if one of us wasn't good enough? I'm waiting for the day my lover goes up to me and says "I'm interested in another person - they're better in every way." I fear for that day. Until that day, I will suck it up, move on and accept it.

This fear has always lingered in the back of my mind for what feels like forever.

I just want to be happy. Is that too much to ask...