I Don't Care If Your Gay Or Straight Or Bi
Our friendship was broken by numerous factors from our past and we both went our own ways,but tho the friendship was long dead my feelings for him were still much very alive. Seeing him day after day and watching that playful dirty kid grow in to a handsome young man didn't help me forget about the childfull friendship I had with him.To top it all off,it was my fault,it was my idea,I
was the one who couldn't keep up with the situation...and he went through some humiliation because of me.
As I said,the feelings I had for him when we were kids didn't die along with the friendship...so I guess it moved me to try and get him back.It was hard at first,tho he answered me my texts,you could tell clearly from the way he answered that he wasn't interested in anything I had to say or anything to do with me and I do admit that I was a bit annoying at first,but in my defense
he never send me any text,just limited himself to answering the questions I had.
Now,with time and some effort from both of us,the friendship has definitely grown a lot.We went over some hard time,the friendship was damaged countless times and it was bent a few times, almost to the point of breaking again,but we fixed it.Tho he can never have feelings for me because he is straight,he did sometimes say he cared about me,but only a few times.He is the type of guy that
shows how much he cares by the way he acts instead of using words and I do suspect he is scared of showing how much he really cares because I might fall for him even more than I already am.I remember this one time,he was momboling on and on about something that had happened to him and I stopped and and said "Hey,I know I say this a lot,but I want you to know that I really do love you" and he said "Oh..I know I never say it
but to me you are important"
One of the problems we always have is when he gets a girlfriend.It's an odd situation for him having to explain me to these girls, tho none of them have hated me,on the contrary,they liked me a lot and were very nice.His last girlfriend would go on and on about how much he cared about me.For example:
Remember I said the friendship was really broken?well it was so bad we had to hide the fact that we were friends for years and only talked through
text.So after those years past we decided it was time to start working on being together,in person,and not feel uncomfortable around each other
.The first time we tried that,his girlfriend was there.It was hard for me to be there,because I would watch them kiss and stuff and it hurt.I told a lie,I said
,my mom needed my help at home so I had to go,but in reality it was because the situation was getting too hard for too long,so I left.Once I gat home I gat a
text from his girlfriend.It was a copy of a text conversation she had with him in which he said so much time had passed since we were last together that he find it hard to remember me just talking and that maybe he missed that...I smiled and then told her that I couldn't remember his voice.
Tho his girlfriend was nice to me and we were good friends,it was hard not getting hurt just by knowing he is with someone else,that someone who is not me
is making him happy.The worst part is that it was hard for me to get him to trust me,it was hard to get him to care,it wasn't easy to get his attention and it
was hard to get to were we are..it took a year or two...So it hurts to watch a girl come over and win his heart over a month or two and get him to care for her
more than he will ever care for me...get him to love her in ways he will never love me...it hurt.It was the first time I seen him loved a girl,tho there haven others,but
he never talked so much about them...not like he talked about her.I foresaw that I was just a third wheel in that relationship and that I was only there to get hurt so I decided to end the friendship with him
witch he accepted..."I'll accept to end the friendship if that will make you feel better,I don't want you to be sad" was what he said.But he texted me after a month because he needed help
,someone to talk to because she broke up with him and he couldn't stop crying...the relationship only lasted a few months.I had never heard him talked like that before,he was always so bright but now he was broken.I left him perfectly
happy and she gave him back broken.I didn't know what to do,we couldn't get together and talk because we still hadn't fix the owl being in each other presence thing.
Tho we were friends again,but he wasn't always happy like he use to be.I remember trying to talk with him one day and he said he couldn't talk because he was too depressed,so I said "we'll talk some other time" but an hour later the send me a text apologizing for hurting me(which was unnecessary)...I imagined he was crying again.
But is been exactly a year I think and he has another girlfriend now...and again I watch him care more for her then he will ever do for me and I am trying to cope with the owl thing.
He knows I am not very happy about it...and I do admit that I sometimes give him a hard time about it...but he takes caution and doesn't talk with me about her
,because he doesn't want to lose or make me feel bad.I have told him he could end the friendship when ever he wanted,because I do understand that this only makes things harder for him...but for some reason he never explained correctly,he doesn't want to.
I know his new girlfriend,she is very nice and easy-going,the 3 of us were in the same class as kids and she use to like him too,but I thought that had changed.I told him to inform me when ever he
is with someone...but this time he was so scared of hurting me he didn't say anything.I found out about it at a party when I saw them together,then explained to me the next day that he was going to tell
me,but just hadn't found the right way to do it.I do feel a bit sorry for him sometimes,because it seems like I make things harder for him,but still he won't leave me.
One day he told me that she knew I about my feeling towards him,but that it wasn't his fault,he didn't tell her anything.He said she asked him(out of the blue)if it was true that it hurted me seeing them together at that party,but he said
he didn't answer her question.
As I mentioned earlier,we had some problem feeling uncomfortable in each other's presence,so to help fix that he added me to a party group he had.There is this party here every summer were we all teenagers get together and drink and have fun.We
make groups and these groups go together.This year we are in the same group...but so is his girlfriend.I am exited to spend the owl weekend around him...but scared to meeting his girlfriend face to face,now that she knows I like him.I hope everything goes fine
I know she is very nice.I will try and make sure things go great and I am pretty sure we'll get along really well.Any opinion about what to do at this party that is coming up and what to do about the owl situation will be very helpful.Thanks!
was the one who couldn't keep up with the situation...and he went through some humiliation because of me.
As I said,the feelings I had for him when we were kids didn't die along with the friendship...so I guess it moved me to try and get him back.It was hard at first,tho he answered me my texts,you could tell clearly from the way he answered that he wasn't interested in anything I had to say or anything to do with me and I do admit that I was a bit annoying at first,but in my defense
he never send me any text,just limited himself to answering the questions I had.
Now,with time and some effort from both of us,the friendship has definitely grown a lot.We went over some hard time,the friendship was damaged countless times and it was bent a few times, almost to the point of breaking again,but we fixed it.Tho he can never have feelings for me because he is straight,he did sometimes say he cared about me,but only a few times.He is the type of guy that
shows how much he cares by the way he acts instead of using words and I do suspect he is scared of showing how much he really cares because I might fall for him even more than I already am.I remember this one time,he was momboling on and on about something that had happened to him and I stopped and and said "Hey,I know I say this a lot,but I want you to know that I really do love you" and he said "Oh..I know I never say it
but to me you are important"
One of the problems we always have is when he gets a girlfriend.It's an odd situation for him having to explain me to these girls, tho none of them have hated me,on the contrary,they liked me a lot and were very nice.His last girlfriend would go on and on about how much he cared about me.For example:
Remember I said the friendship was really broken?well it was so bad we had to hide the fact that we were friends for years and only talked through
text.So after those years past we decided it was time to start working on being together,in person,and not feel uncomfortable around each other
.The first time we tried that,his girlfriend was there.It was hard for me to be there,because I would watch them kiss and stuff and it hurt.I told a lie,I said
,my mom needed my help at home so I had to go,but in reality it was because the situation was getting too hard for too long,so I left.Once I gat home I gat a
text from his girlfriend.It was a copy of a text conversation she had with him in which he said so much time had passed since we were last together that he find it hard to remember me just talking and that maybe he missed that...I smiled and then told her that I couldn't remember his voice.
Tho his girlfriend was nice to me and we were good friends,it was hard not getting hurt just by knowing he is with someone else,that someone who is not me
is making him happy.The worst part is that it was hard for me to get him to trust me,it was hard to get him to care,it wasn't easy to get his attention and it
was hard to get to were we are..it took a year or two...So it hurts to watch a girl come over and win his heart over a month or two and get him to care for her
more than he will ever care for me...get him to love her in ways he will never love me...it hurt.It was the first time I seen him loved a girl,tho there haven others,but
he never talked so much about them...not like he talked about her.I foresaw that I was just a third wheel in that relationship and that I was only there to get hurt so I decided to end the friendship with him
witch he accepted..."I'll accept to end the friendship if that will make you feel better,I don't want you to be sad" was what he said.But he texted me after a month because he needed help
,someone to talk to because she broke up with him and he couldn't stop crying...the relationship only lasted a few months.I had never heard him talked like that before,he was always so bright but now he was broken.I left him perfectly
happy and she gave him back broken.I didn't know what to do,we couldn't get together and talk because we still hadn't fix the owl being in each other presence thing.
Tho we were friends again,but he wasn't always happy like he use to be.I remember trying to talk with him one day and he said he couldn't talk because he was too depressed,so I said "we'll talk some other time" but an hour later the send me a text apologizing for hurting me(which was unnecessary)...I imagined he was crying again.
But is been exactly a year I think and he has another girlfriend now...and again I watch him care more for her then he will ever do for me and I am trying to cope with the owl thing.
He knows I am not very happy about it...and I do admit that I sometimes give him a hard time about it...but he takes caution and doesn't talk with me about her
,because he doesn't want to lose or make me feel bad.I have told him he could end the friendship when ever he wanted,because I do understand that this only makes things harder for him...but for some reason he never explained correctly,he doesn't want to.
I know his new girlfriend,she is very nice and easy-going,the 3 of us were in the same class as kids and she use to like him too,but I thought that had changed.I told him to inform me when ever he
is with someone...but this time he was so scared of hurting me he didn't say anything.I found out about it at a party when I saw them together,then explained to me the next day that he was going to tell
me,but just hadn't found the right way to do it.I do feel a bit sorry for him sometimes,because it seems like I make things harder for him,but still he won't leave me.
One day he told me that she knew I about my feeling towards him,but that it wasn't his fault,he didn't tell her anything.He said she asked him(out of the blue)if it was true that it hurted me seeing them together at that party,but he said
he didn't answer her question.
As I mentioned earlier,we had some problem feeling uncomfortable in each other's presence,so to help fix that he added me to a party group he had.There is this party here every summer were we all teenagers get together and drink and have fun.We
make groups and these groups go together.This year we are in the same group...but so is his girlfriend.I am exited to spend the owl weekend around him...but scared to meeting his girlfriend face to face,now that she knows I like him.I hope everything goes fine
I know she is very nice.I will try and make sure things go great and I am pretty sure we'll get along really well.Any opinion about what to do at this party that is coming up and what to do about the owl situation will be very helpful.Thanks!
