I Have Had a Panic Attack

I am here... and I restarted my medication for panic attack. It is so bad again... I have agoraphobia as well and I am living in a very crowded city. And this is not okay. I don't get out of the house as long as I don't have to, I am avoiding the crowd as much as possible and I really don't know what to do. Because of the traffic jam, I am even scared being driven in the car during rush hours. To go to my uni for documents, I wait so that the rush hour would pass. This fight, I am too drained. During exam periods I am in constant panic, if I am in a crowded place I really feel like I am squished (I am okay with small non-crowded places) I am tired... I am tired of not being listened, not being understood... I am tired of this panic taking my life away... I am tired of all that pain I am suffering... I am tired off the cliché "this is life, nothing can be done" I am tired of fighting this battle. One side of me wants to battle again and kick it away once more, the other side doesn't wanna fight at all. And I know that I will never be able to get rid of it, it will always remain with me no matter how reduced it gets. I am tired of screaming but not being heard!