Relaspse ramble shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh [I Addiction]

I drank again... Way too much and I'm stupid for making such a mistake.... I carved the shit out of my arm for it but....... I feel as though that isn't enough of a punishment.. Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.. I won't do anything too drastic, I'm not suicidal or anything........ Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut I really want to cut myself so much that I bleed out and am too weak for about 4 days or so just laying on the floor starving and dying of thirst then BOOM!! Get up malnourished and water deprived so I learn my god damn lesson. I know there's AA and whatever but, the guilt just crushes me so much.

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

Doomflower · 36-40, M

If cutting yourself were an effective punishment wouldn't it have worked by now?

Get up and keep going. It's a lapse, not a relapse. Not unless you start drinking again regularly. You fucked up. Move on.

This reminds me so much of when I binge and feel like shit the next day.

bearinthehalfwayhouse · 26-30, M

@Doomflower I mean............ It's not very effective... But, it kinda reminds me the next day of what I done... That sorta helps... Not really... I just can't break the gosh darn cycle... I just need a good gosh darn smack in the face, ┬┴┬┴┤•ᴥ•ʔ

Doomflower · 36-40, M

@bearinthehalfwayhouse well... it sounds like cutting yourself is PART of the cycle. You can stop it here and try a new way to cope when things that trigger you to drink occur.

smiler2012 · 56-60

sorry to here this have you tried to seek help with this problem as by what you say you need to speak to somebody very soon before you cut yourself that once too often please do that @bearinthemediumred

bearinthehalfwayhouse · 26-30, M

@smiler2012 NO!! I do what I do without health risks........ Tis but only a reminder of my dumbness!! I know this post may come off as brat-ish and juvenile but.... Just see it as a outlet of sorts.... Bear will recover soon.... ┬┴┬┴┤-ᴥ-ʔ

smiler2012 · 56-60

@bearinthehalfwayhouse please get yourself help

Ohbabe · 22-25, F

therapy babe. You’re doing this for a reason ♥️

bearinthehalfwayhouse · 26-30, M

@Ohbabe Therapy? More like... [i]gay-rapy[/i] thooooooo... We shall learn in time, young one. ┬┴┤•ᴥ •ʔ/

Ohbabe · 22-25, F

@bearinthehalfwayhouse you remind me of my brother lol. I’ll bother you until you understand that people care about you. No matter how much you want people to hate you in order to validate the hate you feel for yourself. No matter how much you try to cope by making jokes. I’ll be here. Reminding you that I dont have to know you to care about you. And that im aware that probably very very very deep down there’s a guy that’s really hurt and sad. See ya later!

bearinthehalfwayhouse · 26-30, M

@Ohbabe Oh yeah I'm not denying any of that, I'm just kinda lost at this juncture of all junctures but hey......................... Nothing another drink can't handle yooooooooooooo!! No hate, pimp. ┬┴┤•ᴥ •ʔ/🥃

AuRevoir · 36-40, M

Don’t.. plz..

Why don’t u watch Justin Bieber vids instead?? Torture yourself with something worse than something you “want” to do..

SW-User

❤️

bearinthehalfwayhouse · 26-30, M

@SW-User THAT is more of a curse than a sign of sorrow!! Tell me I'm pathetic and don't deserve my life!!

SW-User

@bearinthehalfwayhouse no!!!

bearinthehalfwayhouse · 26-30, M

@SW-User YYYYYYYYYYYES!!!! Dun't hate, potate!!

Nobody00 · F

God 😳

Add a comment...