Tomorrow I go and talk to my manager about returning to work after maternity. She's unpleasant, a bully and it was her that contributed to me nearly losing my daughter because she pushed me so hard. I work in a hospital as a CNA/HCA so it's HARD work. I'm hoping to return one day a week, work my specified period so I don't have to pay back some of my maternity and then leave. I won't tell her the second part yet, of course.
I feel like I'm going to walk in there and have an immediate panic attack. I'm a different person now, but that place has a knack of reverting me back to the scared, downtrodden skivvy I was back then. The last time I saw my manager I had come back from a midwife appointment, I was clutching my blood vials and telling her they thought I had preeclampsia and I had to get to hospital. "Oh ok" she said, looking less than pleased. I spoke to her on the phone more recently, she managed to make me feel like crap, shaking and panicky just from that :(
I have to do it though. I've arranged the meeting around the ward lunchtime so there will be less people to bump into and my husband will be right outside for moral support. Get it over and done with, but even thinking about it now is giving me a headache and my stomach is churning. Ugh :(