I Want To Be Happy Without Drugs Or Alcohol

Yet there’s still that void that waits for me to give in again. I got rid of all the numbers. Changed mine. But I still reach for the phone sometimes and blankly stare at my contacts waiting for a connect’s name to pop out at me. But I just can’t. There are two nagging voices. One is telling me to get dope. The other is screaming no don’t do it. You’re going to regret it.
So now I’m sitting on the floor of my bathroom vomiting up everything I binged on because if it’s not one vice it’s another. I can’t be viceless. I have to have a crutch. It’s been that way since the very beginning.
I’m not a fun drunk.

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11knaves11 · 41-45, M

It's time for a gut check buddy. Instead of looking for a connect. Reach out to someone who gives a shit about and let them know your not in a good place right now

Syktur · 26-30, M

@11knaves11 got rid of all my dealers numbers when I got sober off drugs. Changed my number. Out of habit sometimes I reach for my phone to text one and then I realize I’m not gonna find anything. I’ll be alright dude, im hanging in there believe it or not x

11knaves11 · 41-45, M

@Syktur you got this bro. You'll see as more days pass your gonna be stronger. Don't quit on yourself

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M

You need to set to work building new habits and new targets. Probably a whole new network.. As trite as it sounds, if you are clean right now, reaching out to AA could be the place to start. Before you go under.

Mamapolo2016 · F

Find your backbone. You are more than this. The addiction does not want to die and would much rather kill you. Which one of you has more guts?

Syktur · 26-30, M

@Mamapolo2016 the good part of me will. My addiction is dead. It just haunts me endlessly

Mamapolo2016 · F

@Syktur When ghosts chase you, turn on the lights. Go to a meeting. Do something constructive. Don't stroke the addiction and mourn it. Celebrate yourself.

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