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I Have Stage Fright

I got into that uncontrollable state of stress again. This time, for no particular reason. It comes out of nowhere and it feels like riding a bike in a tram track. You keep going but you feel how things go out of control. I try to do everything to camouflage what is going on but my body wins over the mind. It always feels like ultimate defeat. Betrayal from my own brain.

I wonder how much visible is my disability to others. Do they think I'm inferior because I can't control my emotional response? I think so. That's what I'd expect from people who never had to face such problems.

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CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

@SW-User (temporary) disability, in the meaning that it paralyses my body and mind to the point that I lose ability to respond like I normally do. Anxiety is common, but I didn't see many people with such apparent symptoms. Perhaps about 3 persons with huge stage fright and 1 person with an acrophobia attack.
Unfortunately, it is seen as weakness in this society. There's nothing wrong with it, it is how it is. But it's still a factor that creates a big disadvantage for you when you live among people who never had to struggle with anything like this. People are not tolerant. It's not uncommon to see them making fun of it.
Plus you can become easy prey for sociopaths who enjoy causing and watching other people's distress.
I don't want to be ridiculed for something that is not my fault and I don't want to be taken advantage of by some swine that just wants to "have fun". That's why I try to hide it.

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