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I Admire Wit and Intelligence

I am an idiot, pretty much the dumbest person on earth.. i am completely incompetent. i returned to college hoping to gain some competence and skill, it's probably not possible for an idiot to become smart. i go to class and i'm uncomfortable with feeling like i'm the only one that knows what i'm doing. i like to have someone who knows just as much or more than i do. The teacher doesn't like to help anyone. i am happy to help everyone around me with my limited knowledge and skills. Still, I'm uncomfortable to apparently be learning the fastest, to be ahead of everyone in terms of skill. i'm not uncomfortable with being overly prepared for class. Yes, my class acquaintances give me dirty looks, but the more prepared i am, the better I can help them. i feel guilty anytime i'm not studying. Other students are behind, my instructor has told me to slow down, so i relaxed slightly. Don't ask me how i have a 4.0 GPA. Honestly, i feel stupid and incompetent. i'm beginning to feel less incompetent, because it seems as though everyone around me knows less than I. The only way I can feel secure is when someone knows more than I do. Why are no such people in any of my classes?
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fun4us2b · M
I'm an idiot also - the thing that sets us apart is that we "show up"...
shimmeringrose · 46-50, F
@fun4us2b Yes, i'm always showing up. One of the instructors teaches me other things outside the scope of the class, because i stupidly picked an elective that doesn't seem to fit my field of study. 80% of the time, none of the other students in that class show up, they have the software to study at home and are still behind. If I had the software at home I'd be done with the book by now, because the book goes step by step for every lesson.
fun4us2b · M
@shimmeringrose I also mean, not only showing up physically, but mentally engaged...
shimmeringrose · 46-50, F
@fun4us2b Ahhh.. I do not understand cliches.. another reason why I am stupid. Lol.