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I Must Learn To Keep Toxic People Out Of My Life

This post is dedicated towards anyone who has a toxic or manipulative parent. I feel for you.

In the process of preparing for my transitional move out of state, I have been thinking and trying to come to terms with my relationship with a family member. At times, I hate myself for getting so frustrated and angry with her, to feel like I’m a bad daughter for being angry with my mother because she throws things in my face daily, even at work in earshot of our coworkers, to make me feel I’m a terrible person, because I’m choosing and spending more time with people that are less toxic and support my hopes and dreams. We do not have the stereotypical perfect mother-daughter relationship. Maybe we never will. It will be a struggle for me, not knowing if I’m truly doing the right thing by keeping my boundaries towards my mother to some extent. A mother that is so miserable and unhappy with life that she holds me responsible for her happiness by keeping me under her roof forever. I have to be available for shopping dates, going out to eat or going to the movies, because I’m her single and childless kid with less responsibilities to some extent because I choose not to start a family of my own. She’s more or less a homebody, telling me every day how she’s going to have to be medicated, put on antidepressants and how she has nothing to live for or look forward to once I’m gone. She even said once that “she might as well just kill herself” because I’m leaving. Whether she meant it more as a joke or not doesn’t matter.

I am trying to tell myself that I’m doing the right thing, and with the combination of my more recent religious studies and awakening, that God understands my delicate dilemma, as well as anyone else who’s ever been in the same boat as me. What I’ve tried to sum up from this unfortunate situation in my life, is I hope to continue to improve myself and be the go to person if need be for anyone else in this world who is lectured for loving a family member from a distance, especially due to manipulation. Despite the literal distance in miles, I want to make my relationship with my little sister even stronger, and help her understand why I’m leaving. Kudos to anyone else who has had to put their foot down with dignity towards a family member. I’m rooting for you! 🙌🏻❤️
lovingdead · 31-35, M
It's a special kind of hell, you can do it
Thebestof1995 · 26-30, F
Thank you 🙏❤️😊@lovingdead
lovingdead · 31-35, M
@Thebestof1995 thank yourself, every day, especially on the hard ones, you're getting yourself through that hell, it shouldn't be a thankless job
SW-User
Be strong.

The results will be well worth it.
Thebestof1995 · 26-30, F
Thank you 🙏❤️😊@SW-User

 
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