I Am British

[i]I hate media hype. I call it DrivelSpeak[/i]

[b]BRACING[/b]

The British media are informing us this morning that office workers all over the country are bracing themselves for finding new computer infections on return to work tomorrow morning.

I am just wondering how one goes about bracing oneself in the face of such an eventuality.

Is it something you do immediately you leap out of bed? ("Darling, where's my eggs and bacon in bed before church?" - "Sorry, darling, I'm just bracing myself. I should be ready in time for the service.")

Or does it take all day? ("Darling, you're so quiet. And why are you standing on your hands against the wall all the time?" - "I have to get all braced up for tomorrow. You can't just do that in a minute, you know.".)

Or maybe all day AND all night? ("Are you there darling? It's so dark, I can't see you, but I can hear you grunting. Are you ok? Better come in - it's 3.30 and they said it would rain. Come in, get some sleep." - "It's OK - I'm nearly fully braced. I'll probably go direct to the office from the garden, once bracing is finished.")

Or maybe you brace like you do in a plane when they say "Brace, brace."

I would love to know how it should be done.

As for me, come what may, I will be off to work tomorrow completely UNBRACED.