In a way it's funny how some people can be affected by words. True, words are powerful and can be as deadly a weapon emotionally and spiritually as any gun or knife can be a deadly weapon physically.
This is going to sound stupid so get ready for it.
Some time back I did something foolish by letting my guard down. I paid the price when I accepted her invitation to dinner. When returning from the men's room after the dinner I overheard her saying to someone on her phone that I was 'just some old guy who means nothing but a free meal'. Every now and then those words come by for an unwelcome visit to reopen the wounds. Even slightly the hurt causes me to interrogate myself: Why did you accept her invitation? Because I wanted to be friends. Who were you trying to fool? Nobody although now I see it was myself. Why are you letting this get to you? Because I told myself I wouldn't do this, and I lied to myself. It goes on and on....
I work as much as I can to keep my mind occupied but those visits still occur. What a foolish old man I am.
This is what I like about SW. It offers a release for crap like this and there's no obligation whatsoever for anyone to respond. I like that.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I really appreciate it.
As a show of my gratitude here's a picture I took of my closet door. Hope you like it.
[c=#BF0080][b]Tbat sucks big time. I totally get you. My mom often told me I was ugly growing up and those words still haunt me to this day that it's hard to take a compliment from anybody, I always ask myself, doesn't this person see what my mom sees, someone ugly [/b][/c]
That's a very nice door. : - ) I just want to say that life is about learning from your mistakes, but to do that takes honesty with yourself, introspection. But don't beat yourself up about it, learn from it, and figure out how to move on. I am very sorry for what she did, it was heartless, and she should be ashamed of herself.
SW-User
Thanks Peanutsauntie. I know it's my problem and I have to get over it but certain moments arrive. It's hard to explain and I know it's silly but sometimes I can hear the tone in her voice as she said those words.
