What Future?

I stare up in the sky with empty eyes,
My heart and mind can't compromise,
Why is it that myself is all that I can despise?

I want to find the will to hope again,
To have someone close to call a friend,
But I've still a mind and heart that needs to mend,
A bleeding heart and insane mind I still defend.

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leucanthus143 · 26-30, F

if you don't look to first be a friend to yourself, it's always gonna be hard finding friends elsewhere. same goes for love.

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leucanthus143 · 26-30, F

@Samael it definitely is hard. especially when we live in a world where love and friendship is mostly conditional, and then we begin to tell the same kinds of stories to ourselves: "i'll always be dissatisfied with myself because in some some aspect, i'm just not good enough".

Samael

@leucanthus143 Yeah. Not worthy, not deserving. List can go on.

I can spend a week trying to build myself up and it can crumble in a second. :/

leucanthus143 · 26-30, F

@Samael i've been finding it useful not setting expectations for myself. being kinder and being present with my emotions and doing better to be there for myself, just as i would for someone i cared for.

maybe try being nicer to yourself, and forget about what you "deserve" and don't "deserve", because love isn't conditional like that, only you can choose to limit your perception of what love can be

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