I Express Myself Through Writing

It began with a push here, a shove there
When only words were your weapon
You let them fly when things became heated
Firing at random, hitting and missing
When times were cool, calm and collected
You used strategies that could not be deflected
A minefield that could not be crossed without something popping off
Walking on egg shells when you were near
Living a life full of fear
Never knowing the safest route to take
Always questioning
Would this one lead me to the worst possible fate?
As I look each way, I see the same
The weight is just too much for me to take
No longer free to fly and rise above this madness
This love keeps me grounded
I am prepared for this fight
What are the terms? Your life or mine?
Refusing this lie seemed only right
Because I love this girl
Her hand is still mine
Forever, the word you used
Though it's meaning, fell empty
Everything changed so quickly
Silence now, until dawn breaks
As I open my eyes, I see an angel's face
This girl asleep beside me, she is at peace
The previous night's scorn erased from her face
As I watch her sleep, turbulent times fade away
Only the best of feelings left in my mind to race
When she awakens, I look into her eyes
The love is still there and everything is alright
That moment captured and returned, night after night
With this feeling inside, I made my decision
All logic aside, my heart held my reason
Our feelings were mutual for a time, I guess
One should be sure at a time like this
But I let my fears flood in and blur reality
My heart was in it, for her, for this
For every wonderful thing that I never wanted to miss
It was my fault, I let my heart blind me
The truth behind a mist
I let my fears feed the negativeness
It built up inside you, so fast, so quick
Decisions were made that we could not dismiss
A life had already began inside this pit we're fighting in
Right now we're just two and suffocating, a third will not fit
Traditional minds breed traditional ways
Maybe a diamond will make this okay
Thought to myself, maybe we should wait
I no longer see that sparkle in her eye
Which I know a rock will not create
It was not until after the "yes" and then a short time later
That I realized I had given in out of fear
A fear of losing is what made things seem clear
As time flowed on, aging our minds
Things that were said became fuzzy, promises all forgotten
That's the nature of time, to erase and renew
To wash away the old, to make way for the new
I was the old, someone else became the new
Feeling forced into a hole, so dark, so deep
I lost myself there, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep
I became merely a shell of the man I used to be
I grabbed and pulled to force my way up
Never quite reaching far enough
At the bottom again, I begin to climb and climb
I pull myself up and up, so hard, it's so tough
As I find myself out, as I stand up only to find
The same woman standing there, right in front
How could she do me any worse?
I thought I, myself, had been through her worst
My heart becomes clinched in an ever tightening grip
Not mine now, it's hers... once again