I Don't Trust Easily Anymore

The worst thing about being cheated on and lied to by my husband for years, isn't the pain it caused. Don't get me wrong, it hurt more than anyone could possibly ever imagine! But that pain eventually starts to fade over time. The damage it leaves behind, becomes a part of you forever.Now I think I am being cheated on and lied to, in every relationship I am in! I don't know if the world is becoming a sad place where true love no longer exists, or perhaps, simply isn't in the cards for me... or I am too scared to ever have another healthy relationship, ever again...At least with him, I knew what I was getting. He had lied to me too many times for me to ever believe anything he said. I didn't have to trust him, but I wasn't wrong for not trusting him because he deserved it.Being with someone else is so much more confusing! I am so twisted up that I can't even tell which way is up, and which way is down... if I feel like he is cheating, there is nothing I can do about it.... I could just be over paranoid about being cheated on and lied to so much in the past. If he is telling the truth and not cheating, It's not fair to accuse him because he has not done anything to me, to warrant that kind of thinking from me. If he is cheating, he could always get away with it by lying and telling me that he is not my husband, and he shouldn't have to pay for another man's mistakes.I will never know till it is too late:-(