I Have Something to Say

I am puzzled about a certain area of my life.And this is about women. I am not perfect in character, even though I may seem to have a good character, but i myself know there are somethings i do That are not good, and that part of me is puzzling to me based on the specific area which is women. I Would like to see a woman doing things that are Incredible, like been an artist, violinist or simply creative in a productive skill. But either because I don't talk with the ones in my environment or I don't always like to communicast with the ones I see were I am, there seems to be a misunderstanding between what my mind at certain times sees girls as and what i want to see them as which i have mentioned already. I observed something today, I have known that i like chubby or fat type of women for long though,and I seem to like seeing them in my imagination, which i felt was different when i imagined a chubby girl coming to me in reality even though it was still based on my imagining. You might have to think about what i'm saying to understand what I mean. What I need to stop seeing girls at certain times with a disgusting mind, but i don't know what i can have to replace the feelong of wanting to be with a girl. I would like to ask please, what do you think I should do? This aspect of my life seems to be a problem for me. Would appreciate your answers please.