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I Have Something to Say

Okay. I saw Cute Library Guy.

It didn't go the way I'd planned in my head.
I was strolling through the library, having seen him in the Employees Only section of the building (it's a back room with a clear glass window peering out in to the library). After a little while of browsing, I nearly bumped in to him from behind as he was taking stock of the DVDs. He turned to look and smiled at me. I wanted to speak but found my lips had gone numb and the words caught in my throat. If I'd spoken, it probably would've come out in dry-heaves. My face was warm and flushed and I couldn't quit looking him over.

After he left the area, I took in a breath and thought, "Get it together -- you're going to say it to him."
He came back around the corner and smiled at me. I could barely smile back, he was that... attractive.

Blah blah, a few minutes later, he walked around a shelf [i]again[/i], and looked directly at me in the eyes, with no expression, and I stared back. Then he left.

Finally, a short while later, after taking a couple DVDs (only because I didn't want to seem odd staying in a library for over an hour and leaving with nothing), I saw him at the front desk. I started over to him... he looked at me and said, with a hurried voice:

"Can I help you?"
"Yeah, I forgot my library card. Could you please check them out for me?"
"Sure."
"What's your last name?"
I gave him my last name, having to spell it out as it's a little unique.
He typed it in, "First name?"
I gave it.
He typed again, pausing and made a face, "How do you spell your last name again?"
I repeated it with a chuckle. He typed it in.
"Looks like you have a couple fines. You don't have to pay it now or anything, so you can forget about it."
"Ah okay," I say. "Oh and the card... does it cost anything to get a new one?"
Immediately after I spoke, "50 cents. But we can just look it up for you next time."
He handed me my items and said, "Have a nice evening."
"Thank you. You too." I caught him giving a quick glimpse as I turned.

So yeah. The awkwardness is real.

... I figure he probably thinks I'm a serial killer, after staring at him so much. :) And it is safe to say it's good I didn't say anything... he didn't seem interested whenever we looked at each other.

Oh well.
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CaptainCanadia · 41-45, M
ASK HIM OUT FOR COFFEE IT'S TERRIFYING BUT WORTH IT THO
JupiterDreams · 31-35
But he didn't seem interested, at all. >,<
CaptainCanadia · 41-45, M
Shy guys do everything they can to not appear interested because they're terrified of being found out and rejected. This does not mean he's interested, but if you're both shy there may be no way to know!
JupiterDreams · 31-35
You're right. But he seemed like he was all business and professional, rather than talking to a woman his own age. If that makes sense. :/ I also feel like my watching him creeped him out lol
CaptainCanadia · 41-45, M
Fair enough! I won't browbeat you, just remember you have that ability. Strive for the confidence of a mediocre white man. :D
JupiterDreams · 31-35
I don't mind if you do. I could use some confidence boost lol
CaptainCanadia · 41-45, M
You're good enough, you're smart enough, and God damn it, people like you.
JupiterDreams · 31-35
People like me [i]online[/i]. But in person I seem to be repugnant.