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I Have Something to Say

Okay. I saw Cute Library Guy.

It didn't go the way I'd planned in my head.
I was strolling through the library, having seen him in the Employees Only section of the building (it's a back room with a clear glass window peering out in to the library). After a little while of browsing, I nearly bumped in to him from behind as he was taking stock of the DVDs. He turned to look and smiled at me. I wanted to speak but found my lips had gone numb and the words caught in my throat. If I'd spoken, it probably would've come out in dry-heaves. My face was warm and flushed and I couldn't quit looking him over.

After he left the area, I took in a breath and thought, "Get it together -- you're going to say it to him."
He came back around the corner and smiled at me. I could barely smile back, he was that... attractive.

Blah blah, a few minutes later, he walked around a shelf [i]again[/i], and looked directly at me in the eyes, with no expression, and I stared back. Then he left.

Finally, a short while later, after taking a couple DVDs (only because I didn't want to seem odd staying in a library for over an hour and leaving with nothing), I saw him at the front desk. I started over to him... he looked at me and said, with a hurried voice:

"Can I help you?"
"Yeah, I forgot my library card. Could you please check them out for me?"
"Sure."
"What's your last name?"
I gave him my last name, having to spell it out as it's a little unique.
He typed it in, "First name?"
I gave it.
He typed again, pausing and made a face, "How do you spell your last name again?"
I repeated it with a chuckle. He typed it in.
"Looks like you have a couple fines. You don't have to pay it now or anything, so you can forget about it."
"Ah okay," I say. "Oh and the card... does it cost anything to get a new one?"
Immediately after I spoke, "50 cents. But we can just look it up for you next time."
He handed me my items and said, "Have a nice evening."
"Thank you. You too." I caught him giving a quick glimpse as I turned.

So yeah. The awkwardness is real.

... I figure he probably thinks I'm a serial killer, after staring at him so much. :) And it is safe to say it's good I didn't say anything... he didn't seem interested whenever we looked at each other.

Oh well.
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uncalled4 · 56-60, M
Sounds like anything is possible!
JupiterDreams · 31-35
Yeah but I feel like if a person is interested they'll jump at the moment... which he didn't :( He kept smiling but it was like any smile, a friendly, professional one.
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
Not necessarily. But, at the very least, you rose to the challenge! Good on you.
JupiterDreams · 31-35
I guess so. I'm too embarrassed now though lol
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
@JupiterDreams: you made yourself stronger. We have all been there. Nothing bad about what you did, at all.