I am Monroe and welcome to my TED talk. I'm going to talk to you a little bit today about my life and how I identify as a lime flavored Popsicle. Oh look I brought visual aids!
Nestled amoungst the sought after and much more popular red,blue,pink,purple and orange popsicles lives the nasty green one that nobody really likes. I am that green popsicle. The green popsicle is lime and lime things are not the most popular in terms of candy or icecream flavors. Growing up I ate those things all the time and the lime ones were always left to rot in the box. I am left to rot in the box while others are out there living a life filled with things I probably never will have. For goodness sake guys I haven't gone on a date in YEARS mainly due to being less than open to the idea of further rejection in my life. You see growing up I was bullied a lot and was the target of some rather cruel pranks that involved someone pretending to like me. Sooooo yeahhhh it's hard for me to believe that someone could actually like me and that I'm not on Punk'd and that cameras and Asthon Kutcher aren't going to pop out at me somewhere. Oh yeah there's some trust issues there. That coupled with not exactly being Sir Lancelot of Studmuffin protector of the great kingdom of confidence doesn't help me either. Then there's the thing with the wonky eye and all sorts of boring details I'm sure nobody really wants to hear about.
Uh yeah oh and I'm a bit of an oddball, goofball who tends to blurt out stupid things. Weird interests, overall a total Count Dorkula.
Sometimes someone comes along and for whatever reason likes the flavor of lime popsicles. Ew I know right? What are they thinking? Then in true fashion I scar them for life with my spazzoid antics and forever make them hate lime flavored anything. Hell just looking at a green skittle makes them shake uncontrollably or throw themselves out a window. But hey that was once guys come on once!
Thank you for listening mom and dad as you two are the only ones who came to my talk. I'm going to go cry now please excuse me.
Wow. Please don't accuse those of us with a preference for lime of being shallow and disloyal to lime so quickly! Personally, I not only go for lime, my love extends to the color!
And by the way, some fellows with wonky eyes have gone on to be more successful than the non-wonky eyed population, and have even been known to have rabid fans, devoted and beautiful wives, and become ridiculously rich (Thom Yorke of the band Radiohead is just one example. PS- he also has wonky teeth and his ears stick out...
