I Am In Love With Someone Who Loves Someone Else

How Much Can I Take? God Please Give Me Strength.... I am In Love with a woman I've never met in person, but the real problem is, she's in love with someone else with whom she knows she has no real future. He's married and will never leave his family but somehow he still controls her. I thought I had helped her break away from him but it turned out I was wrong. She even lied to me, telling me she was engaged to someone else and that she couldn't talk with me because of him. When I'd ask, where are your pictures with him, couples do take shots together, she never could give me an answer. Finally she admitted he called and begged her to come back to him just before the holidays and she did. Shortly after, she started telling me how she felt nothing for me.

He wants to possess her but not give up anything to have her, and he just keeps her on the side. She on the other hand seems willing to give up her future, any hope for having a family of her own and really, any chance to be truly happy for him.

I LOVE HER! I would give up anything to be with her. At one point I really thought she was feeling the same towards me but the distance seems so insurmountable I don't think she really believes I will ever be with her so to protect her vulnerable feelings she has convinced herself she has no feelings nor ever did for me... or maybe he just told her that's what she needed to do since I was a threat to him keeping one of his many possessions.

What is really stressing me out is knowing she's with him. He keeps his wife and family along with many other possessions, they are all more important to him than her, but he's also having her at the same time. The woman I love is being had by someone not willing to give up anything for her.

People will tell me to forget about her but that's just something I can not do. She is the only one for me and at this point in my life, if I can't have her then I don't need anyone. So I am not giving up, I can't, I know, I simply know, that we are supposed to be together, as if God has ordained it and he is testing me to be sure I am worthy of her. I have to prove to both her and the Lord God Almighty that I am worthy, that I will never give up, that I will do whatever it takes, no matter how long it takes, to be with her.

Midnightangel4jr

I feel your pain... and your frustration. You feel she is your soulmate, the woman of your dreams and everything you have ever looked for in life.

I feel exactly the same about my man. Not more than a month ago, he felt the same for me... A deep loving commitment and connection. Then fear, distance and the logistics of our children and not wanting me to have to choose between him and them made him decide we are never going to work.

He hurt be and said things in the most hurtful way he could to push me away. Now he's reaching out again as ONLY friends. Says we will NEVER be anything more.

My heart refuses to give up even though he says he dreads one day telling me he's met someone. I told him I won't be able to handle it. I will shut my eyes (and basically told him my heart to him, in other words I may let him go). He said 'we will work through it together when that time comes'. So he refuses to let me go but he refuses to have me in his life as anything more than just friends.

It kills me inside because I can see the love in his eyes when we do talk the few times we have.

I feel you pain... it kills your soul and you wish for death to end the hurt.

If only they knew how much we love them, if only they knew how happy we could make them if they would only take the risk.

It's the stuff that tragic romance stories are written about.

I would tell you to not give up on her.

I am not giving up on him.

But our hearts will suffer for it.

lanie2013

I admire your trust in God despite your situation. I can also sense the agony and confusion you're going through right now. Since you have God in your heart, why not let Him take over even for a moment? I think He has something for you. You just need to wait and be patient. While waiting, why not try do something else you love doing or haven't done before (e.g., scuba diving, spelunking, gardening, volunteer for a good cause, etc.)?

I'm not asking that you forget her or stop loving her. You may continue loving her but try to smile not grieve every time you think of her. Pray for her, for the other guy and for his family. You have "good eyes". You can see that she's in a wrong situation for loving a married man. She doesn't see it that way, neither does the other guy. That's why I ask that you pray for them. Wrong actions and intentions usually have painful results.

If you can do any of the things I mentioned here within a month or for 30 days, something will come up. :)

avaria

I wanted to comment on your story from a professional point, you have detached yourself to someone who will never commit to you, why you believe you are not deservant of true love. You need to validate yourself more, and find your own true self worth. When you do this woman will have no hold on you. My advice do things that enhances your true validation and foundation, focus on building strengths within yourself whether it is for professional or personal reasons. Join a social group, get to know new people, you never know what you will find life is full of surprises. Take care.