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I Am Reserved Until I Get to Know You

Ladies... IRL,if you saw/noticed someone that you felt was quite interesting and wanted to get to know them... would you strike up a conversation?
Or even on here, would you PM them first?

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SomeMichGuy · M

I thought that this was an interesting query for women; sorry that there was not more discussion of it.

I used to be...painfully shy. It would be easier for me to approach someone interesting in an online forum than in person, at that time (and there are times when online is easier). The problem with any online interaction is that standing out online is much harder; in person, you can use your eyes and other body language to show actual interest. You can move closer...you can demonstrate attention. You can have a synchronous conversation and show that you are just googling things which you didn't recognize, i.e., intelligence, quickness, wit, empathy/sympathy/concern...all sorts of things which we see and "read" in another are much more easily conveyed in person.

The online wallflower has very little chance, I am afraid.

Mamapolo2016 · F

If I have read enough of their posts and comments to be reasonably sure they will accept a conversational pm in the spirit in which it was sent, yes.

SomeMichGuy · M

@Mamapolo2016 I try to take each post or message as it is meant, to the best of my understanding of it, though sometimes I get punchy and give a joke response to a post (but then I typically apologize & go on to answer the post "straight").

Do you not find that people here generally do that? (By "generally", I am excluding the people who are here just to make havoc, etc.)

ravenwind43 · 51-55, F

If I have ever PMed here first the conversations never went anywhere so I have given up on that.

Reemar · 31-35, F

@ravenwind43 I feel like it's a gamble... the intrigue may be one-sided or they might read too much into it..

ravenwind43 · 51-55, F

@Reemar It's always a gamble yes lol

Virgo79 · 61-69, M

I guess if no one goes first nothing happens

Reemar · 31-35, F

@Virgo79 yeah... true. But meanwhile, the intrigue will either rise or fall...

Keepitsimple · 51-55, F

In real life yes. Here never.

View 4 more replies »

Reemar · 31-35, F

@Keepitsimple gotcha. I'm wondering whether to be safe or brave 🤔😏

Keepitsimple · 51-55, F

It’s up to you and your tolerance level, LOL@Reemar

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