Whenever I'm trying my hardest not to be an abusive prick, I end up walking behind a phone zombie.

Yeah what the hell is up with that? You have to look where your going, it's common sense but apparently not. I used to walk and text with the older phones cause you didn't really have to look at them to use them but these smart phones need to be used while sitting down

Slap it in the back of the head. When it turns around, slap the phone out of its hand. Most won't know how to respond. Could be funny.