I Smoke Cigarettes

Addiction is a sublime dance.
Over decades, I've danced with it, and shoved it away. Like a pendulum, it swings from attraction to rejection.
We've grown old together, this monkey of mine and me.
It's a philosophical mindset now, rooted in existentialism, my choice to be dancing with the monkey or not.
I've gone for years without smoking, and have chosen to start again.
Smoking is a middle-finger to mortality.
I've been in the face of so many experiences that should have killed me, smoking pales by the immediacy of them.
Very, very few people understand how poignantly deep a person's relationship to smoking is, what it's nuances are.