Upset
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Sometimes i question myself

Sometimes when I'm upset I question everything and everyone despite that they say that they are there for me it doesn't feel like it. I've had my so called friends make plans to hangout with me and either forget about me or cancel at the last minute on me. I've felt lonely despite that I'm surrounded by people. I sometimes get extremely anxious when I'm out at the stores. Lately my depression has been getting bad, I don't hurt myself but I've been thinking about it. I feel like I should not be left alone when I'm upset because I feel like I'm going to do something stupid. I've thought about taking a walk and just going to the middle of the street or walking to the highway which is not far from my house and jumping. I feel like I should go to a therapist but I can't go to one. Sometimes I drift off into space while doing something or get upset out of nowhere and start crying. I sometimes don't know what to do anymore.
PLEASE don't hurt yourself. And why can't you go to a therapist?
Money? I don't get anxious when I'm in stores (any more), but I often feel alone when I'm around a bunch of people.

Let me know if you'd like to talk.
You know where you can find me.
mimin0595 · 26-30, C
@PhoenixPhail I wouldn't though but thanks for being caring
@mimin0595 You're welcome.
riseofthemachine · 41-45, M
I feel sorry for you . I hope you be alright .
What helps is writing . I'd be in the river only for that and meditation (Look up "The honest Guys" meditation. It's extremely helpful for me .
If you keep writing what's going on for you, there be a time and it will happen that you wont be in the dark in your mind no more with those intense painful thoughts .
What brings you into the dark is that you get so used to bottling emotions and at some point it with give either way. It will come out in different forms
mimin0595 · 26-30, C
@riseofthemachine I've been writing a lot and I do bottle up my emotions a lot. That I confused depression with sadness since I was 8. It was really bad back when I was in the 8th grade, and it's getting there again.
SW-User
Why can’t you go to a therapist?
So sorry 😕
mimin0595 · 26-30, C
@SW-User because my job doesn't pay me enough and I make enough to pay my bills and it's ok

 
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