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Yes, I really enjoy my freedom!

When I was married:
I was not allowed to eat what I wanted
and often I was not allowed to eat at all
I was not allowed to go out

I had to obey my husband
I had to serve him
I had to earn the money for him while taking care for our baby

I was not allowed to have friends
I was not allowed to have free time
I was not allowed to study

I was forced a few times to go to church
I was forced to bear it when he raped me

But since I am away from him:
I am free to eat what I want
I am free to go out where and whenever I want
I have to serve and to obey NOBODY except myself
I have earned the money for myself while I educated my son to a young and hard working man

I had the freedom to study social work at university and a few languages. This would have been IMPOSSIBLE during my marriage.

It is already 23 years ago that I have left my "husband" and got my freedom back. Nevertheless I am every single day glad and thankful for my freedom because I am aware that there are still many, many women in this world who are nothing for their husbands than cheap slaves.
MissGaga · 26-30, F
I put the sad reaction while reading the first part of your story.. and ended up putting the thumbs up reaction by the end of it...

I am very familiar with what you are saying. I personally have a friend who is in a similar situation, but unfortunately, I don’t think she will survive it, like you did. As a matter of fact, she just keeps on giving him more children, which i see it as her chaining herself even more..

I am personally in a similar life living situation, not quite as bad, but definitely my freedom is restricted to a good extent and i really need to take control of my entire life and not just part of it. I need to live a fuller life, more secure, and stable without any fears or lies.

It isn’t easy, it takes a lot of strength and courage, and I am working towards it.
Loretta78 · 41-45, F
[@4367,MissGaga] I hope so much that you will have success with it. Because I know very well that it isn´t easy at all to escape without any help from such a situation.

I don´t know in which country you are living, but maybe there are people or even an institution who could help or support you?
MissGaga · 26-30, F
I live in a place of conservative culture. As someone whose lost their faith in religion, it has become very difficult for me to answer to these rules and traditions. Like i said, my situation isn’t as bad, I am financially independent and managed to get myself immigration visa, but really this is not the difficult part. I am currently wrestling with emotional constraints.. I feel emotionally blackmailed, and guilted into keeping the status quo.. like i said, it isn’t easy to just leave, even if you have all the resources.. it is not always about the material resources, but you are crossing red lines in the process that you were taught not to cross since you were a child.. this is NOT easy no matter how independent you think you are [@1493,AliceSalomon]
Loretta78 · 41-45, F
[@4367,MissGaga] I really can understand you so well!
And I really hope that you will leave all these stuff one day succesfully behind you. 🍀
ragingfire · 31-35, M
I have known some of those church nuts, they produce some terrible people. Seems like he was a garbage man to begin with and his cult amplified it.
Glad you and your son are out of it.
Loretta78 · 41-45, F
[@429468,ragingfire] Me too! 👍
novaguy2u · 70-79, M
Wow, that is so sad. Was he a member of a religious cult?
Loretta78 · 41-45, F
[@1138050,novaguy2u] I think so.
The interesting thing is: After 20 years my son was searching for his father and he has foud him on Facebook. The news my son got about his father were this:
He still has married twice after me - and twice he divorced again.
Let´s ask: WHY?

And beside this: My former husband has still 8 or 9 siblings and all of them are happily married.
And I am asking again: WHY my former husband is the only one of his big family who is always alone and not in a happy relationship?
novaguy2u · 70-79, M
[@1493,AliceSalomon] I hope that you have been able to put your very troubled past behind you, and have moved on to better things. Many of us have had burdens in life to carry and overcome, but yours seems to have been worse than many!
Loretta78 · 41-45, F
[@1138050,novaguy2u] Well, as you can see in my post: I am living my freedom. I have studied at university, became an academic and I have two good jobs (main job and side job) which I love very much.

I am having and I am LIVING my freedom. What else I can want more? 🙂
Dolimyte · 36-40, M
This idea of women as property is ancient and revolting. I'm surprised it is still so prevalent, even if it's not explicitly stated as such. I'm glad that you escaped that patriarchal douchebag.
Loretta78 · 41-45, F
[@1999,Dolimyte] I agree.
And although the idea of women as a property is ancient - I am sure we would be shocked if we would know the real numbers who are still threatened as such.

By the way: My marriage was in a capital in the middle of Europe!
JohnnyO · 36-40, M
Dang Was He A Member Of Scientology He Sounds Like A Controlling Husband
Loretta78 · 41-45, F
[@105699,JohnOlinger] You might read my talk in this thread to novaguy2u. Here I have explained some more. 🙂
Idk if that is actually your truth or not but if it is, keep living Your life Your way.
Loretta78 · 41-45, F
[@24735,Silentspectator] It is not my truth. It is THE truth what is really happened to me. And I certainly will continue to keep living my life, my way, my freedom.
[@1493,AliceSalomon] blessed be.

 
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