I Dont Care
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This week I will be saying no to feeling guilty about things

I try to do my best by people and be honest with them (without being cruel). I am there as much as I can be for people when they need it, but I must have boundaries. I need to care for myself too, or risk becoming burnt out and of no use to anyone. I still struggle with the guilt that comes with saying no and taking time for me. Its something I've become more aware of and something I'd like to quit.

How do you cope with guilty feelings?
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Miram · 26-30, F
My guilty feelings disappear after a burn out, lmao

I guess I stay busy and since I pick on flaws it is easy to see how I enable dependency by always say yes. It is bad in the long run for them too.
KuroNeko · 36-40, F
[@542305,Miram] it can be a hard transition for some people around me. Its definitely a time of sorting out who stays and who goes.
Miram · 26-30, F
[@1095867,KuroNeko] It's really about survival, just like any other thing we do. They'll understand if they aren't selfish bastards
Star1 · F
I ask myself if I will be feeling guilty in a months time & the ansa is usually no,I usually have other more important stuff to think about
Classified · M
They don't really surface for me, but maybe I'm just pushing it away? 🤔
KuroNeko · 36-40, F
[@444927,Classified] I think it can depend a lot on the type of upbringing you had. My mother was a real guilt tripper and it turned me into someone who felt the need to keep people happy at the expense of all my energy.
Classified · M
[@1095867,KuroNeko] That makes sense. My family didn't do guild tripping on me 🤔
Asificair · M
Focus on the positive achievements. On the help offered, received and the difference it makes. Avoid regret for self care, you recognise how essential boundaries are and the necessity for self, without which youd be the one reaching out for help instead of helping others. You're part of the solution not the problem, keep up the good work!
tj78610 · 51-55, M
Well my wife preyed on me with guilt. Before long, it became less and less effective on me. Now I'm immune. Couldn't care less if I did something completely evil. I may feel bad, but I will never admit it to her. In fact I push back aggressively at any hint of guilt trip even if I should feel guilty.

My real point is - guilt is a terrible long term motivator. Do what you can, but take care of yourself. You can either figure that out as I did - long term suffering - or just give yourself that mental release by doing things for you, and letting that happiness shove out those negative guilty feelings.

 
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