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I Dont Know What to Do

I have a guy friend and we have been hanging out a lot because we like the same things and everything. But I just see him as a friend and still love my ex and am hoping to get back with him because we still talk and are friends. My Friend does not like my ex and has been helping me with this hard break up but he knows I still want my ex. Our co workers and people at my new job are asking if we are dating because they think that my friend has a thing for me and even my mom told.me she thinks he does. I do not see him like that and have even now made the point to saying how I still want my ex, I don't want any new relationships so on and so on. Idk if he is understanding that. My ex doesn't like my friend either because he thinks there is something going on. And no matter what I say he still thinks there is something. I know feel awkward around my friendd because I don't think he has any feelings for me but other people say,he does and I don't want to make it awkward. How should I handle this situation?

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greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

You are confused about the meaning of "friend." Neither of them see it that way, but both are going along with the idea in order to win you.

KeKeNae · 26-30, F

@greenmountaingal yet my ex had won me and he keeps pushing me away and the other knows I want just one person.

WildernessWriterExplorer · 31-35, M

@KeKeNae you’re thinking win you is the same for both men. The similarities for both of them means your attention. Your has your attention at his demand no matter what and will use that until he finds someone he desires more.

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@KeKeNae The point is, they both have feelings for you. If your ex didn't, he wouldn't care whether this guy is a friend or more, he just wouldn't care, wouldn't even be talking to you much and he wouldn't care who you were seeing.

This guy who is not your ex also has feelings for you and is hoping you will get over your ex and give him a chance. He thinks it might happen if he is patient, no matter what you say.

The truth is that very few heterosexual young men hang out with young attractive heterosexual women regularly or talk/chat/message with them a lot if they are not interested in her as a woman. And they base their courtship tactics on a lot more than what the woman openly states about her situation and interests. The fact that she is spending time with them and that she cares what they think is often enough to keep a guy interested.

KeKeNae · 26-30, F

@greenmountaingal what do you think i should do about this situation?

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

[u][/u] @KeKeNae Decide what you want and let them know. Don't keep interacting with either man if you do not want to date him.

KeKeNae · 26-30, F

@greenmountaingal i just want to date one...and that's my ex. The guy who doesn't want me anymore

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@KeKeNae If he didn't have any interest in you, he'd leave you alone and not comment on other guys you know. He is playing some kind of game. Maybe just get very busy with a new project or hobby and talk to him very little....? See how he takes it if you distance yourself. Don't confide any intimate details when you do occasionally see him in public or talk briefly with him. Treat him exactly as he has stated he wants to be treated, as someone of no romantic interest to you.

KeKeNae · 26-30, F

@greenmountaingal ill try not when he messages or.calls ik right there for.him v.v and he moved away... So i don't see him at.all